Combat Boots for Artemis

Is It Over? Already? Again?

2011-12-25T19:18:00.002+09:00

Well, it's that time again. You know. When New Year Resolutions are made and the future looks bright with hopes and dreams. I could make all kinds of resolutions, but I imagine it will go the way of last year. My motivation will last for a few weeks and then the daily grind of life will kick me in the teeth a few times, I will learn my lesson, and then return to the same old me. Full of good intentions and dreams...

I do have to say that, unless there is money involved, I can pretty much make my dreams come true. IF I want them bad enough. When there is money involved, I usually resort to wishing I could win the lottery... which I never play... This year though, I will keep my dreams and resolutions simple and reachable.

I have some career goals... to be the best little Army Court Reporter I can be, to go to the promotion board and get picked up for Sergeant. To put my packet in for an Army scholarship to get my Master's Degree in Art Therapy, then direct commission as an Army officer. (Don't get me wrong, I like being a court reporter, but my passion is people...)

I also want to be sure my Mom has a permanent place. One that cannot be taken from her. She alone has given her full support and unconditional love to me since the day I was born. I want to be there for her and I want to live close to love on her for a long time.

I want to continue to make a difference in the lives of people I meet every day. I want to be a force for good. Wait... I was going to keep it simple... that isn't always simple... and sometimes, regardless of my best intentions, it isn't always reachable. However, there must be some kudos for effort... no matter what, I will, once again, start the year out with a positive attitude...

Oh, and maybe, just maybe, I will get this blogging thing back on my to-do list... I hope I can find enough to say! :p

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Determination Rules the Day

2011-08-03T06:38:00.002+09:00

Well, it has been one full week in Court Reporter Class here at the JAG School in Charlottesville, Virginia. The University of Virginia Campus is beautiful and the Residence Inn where I am staying is quite nice. All is well. So far.

I have managed to pass the first two exams and took the third one today. Today's exam was longer and harder than the other two and I lost track of time. I completed it, but barely! Most of the time I am the first one done but this time I was one of the last two! Craziness!

The only thing that worries me is the tape test that I will inevitably have to do when I am over my max weight. The PT test itself should be fine - I have some time to get my push ups and my run "up to speed." The sit ups have not been a problem for me before, so I don't anticipate them being a problem now. If only I could trade push ups and sit ups with one of the guys in my class - what a great PT test that would be! UGH!! This stresses me more than anything else - I want to just get myself down below my max weight. You wouldn't think that would be hard, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to lose any weight at all, no matter what diet and exercise program I follow. :(

Despite this, I am actually having a good time in class. Our instructors have been both informative and fun. The area I am in is wonderful and has all kinds of things I never knew I missed. There is a Chick-Fil-A here that my hubby wants a milkshake from - not quite sure how to send that to Korea... There is a Waffle House for my hangover from the partying I am going to do after I pass that damn PT test and Tape... There are all kinds of places to find clothes for my leave after I graduate... (I need shorts.) I am sure there is a Jazz Bar somewhere here I can go to in order to chill after a long week of learning... and I cannot wait to go horseback riding in the Shenandoah State Park. I am sure that will be the highlight of my stay here in the great State of Virginia (sorry JAG School.)

I am loving the opportunities that the Army is giving me. There are always days when I want my old, unaccountable life back, but really, I have to ask myself if my life would truly be better out of the Army. I don't think so. I hope the Army will keep me around a while.

There are major changes in the military these days. We are weeding out the too old and too weak and the unwilling. I hope to not be considered as any one of these. I am steadily taking care of all the things that would hold me back from being the capable, strong and determined soldier that the Army wants and needs. I hope my chain of command sees the effort and guides me with the best of their ability. And where they will surely let me down, I am resolved to reach deep and pull that guidance from within.

I will not let someone else decide whether I succeed or not.

Army Strong HOOAH!

Singing with the Radio

2011-07-25T10:05:00.005+09:00

For over a year now I have been saying that there is nothing about the states that I miss other than family and friends...

I flew into San Francisco from Incheon, South Korea on Saturday, the 23rd of July. Customs was fairly simple and didn't take too long, however, I highly recommend giving yourself a two hour window for connections or you might end up running to your next gate with your shoes in your hand. Once I arrived at Washington-Dulles it was just a matter of getting my bags and shuttling to Budget to rent my car. I drove a few minutes south and stayed at a Marriott in Westfields. Gorgeous place. It was night and I was exhausted and I hadn't thought much about being back home.

On Sunday, I slept in, ordered room service and then left the hotel rested and refreshed. I was given a Toyota Corolla to drive and after driving my little Hoopty in Korea, I must say it was a really nice change of pace. I don't think I have driven over 40 miles per hour since I left home over a year ago and to be able to drive over 60 again was such a great feeling. Not to mention that the roads seemed wide enough for two and there were no pedestrians! As I was driving and listening to stations that were NOT AFN, and enjoying the wide roads, I realized that I had missed it here. Immensely!

I passed farms and farmer's markets, recognizable store signs, traffic signs I could read, and mountains that rose in the distance. There were houses large and small, and businesses large and small, and just an amazing openness of space. I had lived in wall to wall buildings and with wall to wall people for so long that I had forgotten how it felt to live and drive in wide open spaces.

As I sang along with the radio I realized that while I really enjoyed living in Seoul, and experiencing another culture, nothing will ever replace my country. This way of life that is so good. It gives me a new found pride in my home, in my country - something to fight for. And that feels good.

I have missed my America.

The Adventure Can Wait a Day or Two... or Seven.

2011-07-09T13:19:00.003+09:00

I love the Army. I love being in the Army. But there are some things that make being in the Army a real pain in the ass. Like feeling unwell for instance. I could boil the whole scenario down to two words; no compassion.

I think there is some kind of pressure to think that since we are soldiers, we must not give into sickness; we must push through the pain and keep on keeping on. That is all well and good, but quite frankly, there are days in the military when I would prefer to just have the job, and not the adventure. Truly.

The process goes like this... you wake up ill, or maybe you have spent the whole night in the ER and you just cannot get yourself up and moving in the morning for physical training. Maybe you are too terrified to venture more than 15 feet from the bathroom, but get up you must. And this is why.

You have to go to sick call for a slip that says you can stay home. Seriously.

It doesn't matter that you are dumping the contents of your stomach every 5 minutes, or that you are delirious with fever. You must get yourself to sick call. And why? Paperwork.

Case in point. Recently I had to have surgery. Granted it was outpatient and not very intrusive, but I had surgery nonetheless and I was in a bit of discomfort. Although the drugs helped with that, I really just wanted to stay home and sleep. No can do! Since my doctor had generously granted me convalescent leave instead of just quarters, I had to fill out a leave form and submit it to my supervisor. Now you would think that under the circumstances I could print out the form and fill it out, sign it and scan it, then email it to my supervisor for my records, right from the comfort of my own home. But no. I had to go into the office, the day after surgery and fill it out on my office computer so it had a digital signature. Really?

Now let me just interject something about my supervisor here. It wasn't her that was insisting on the digital signature but her supervisor... I need to say that MY NCO is amazing. She is a new Sergeant and she makes her soldiers needs a priority. She was going to bring to my house something that would allow me to do all this from home, but I could not see adding even more to her already long week of work. I wanted her to look good without all the added trouble. So I went to the office. I would take a bullet for her, and I would follow her wherever she needed me. Her supervisor, on the other hand, is on her own.

Anyway, yesterday, I woke up ill. Nausea and cold sweats alternated with stomach cramps and an intense fatigue. It sucked. But I dragged my weary self to work anyway because I HATE sick call.

Needless to say, I made it through the day and actually started feeling better by the end of it. But man, it was one of those times when I longed for a civilian job and a less accountable life style. The adventure could have waited another day...

No. You Don't Have My Permission...

2011-07-03T15:07:00.003+09:00

...To make me feel inferior because you are consumed with your own importance.

...To belittle and demean other soldiers in front of me.

...To use your rank as an excuse to exercise power over my mind and body.

...To express thoughts and make comments like you know me, when you clearly do not.

...To threaten me.

...To judge me based on office gossip.

...To decide my future based on your personal feelings about me instead of my performance in my job.

...To lead me astray from Army Values because you see no need to cultivate those qualities in yourself.

...To think I can't shoot because I am a "girl."

On the other hand, you DO have my permission...

...To get help deflating your head so as to get through the office door.

...To counsel soldiers in the way they should go respectfully and with your own good example.

...To use your rank to aid me when I need help and boost my confidence to lead others.

...To get to know me as a person and as a soldier, in a group... when I am not armed.

...To help me practice my Combatives training, again in a group, when I am not armed.

...To stop office gossip by shutting your own mouth.

...To give me the tools I need to decide my future plans and assist me in starting that process.

...To cultivate the Army Values that you have strayed from so heinously.

and

...To stand in as a target so I can practice not shooting "like a girl."

A Craving for Inspiration

2011-06-21T18:32:00.002+09:00

I want to thank Kim over at Cravings of a Lunatic for awarding me a shout out and adding me to her list of "readables." I have never seen myself as much of an inspiration and still find it amazing that anyone would be at all interested in what I have to say. For the past year I have managed to say so little and now that I have been recommended, I feel a bit more pressure to produce! Thank you Kim! You were just what I needed to get me blogging regularly again. I must say, however, that I would rather read about food and try your amazing recipes than read about the day of an Army soldier which, truth be told, can be kind of tedious.

I started this blog to help my husband more efficiently inform family and friends of what was happening during my Army Basic Training, and also update them on addresses to write too, etc. I never expected it to be inspiring - I mean, really, who gets inspired by the daily grind of Basic Training! I have enjoyed it though and I love hearing how it has inspired others to take up the cross of the American Soldier; to try things they never thought they would, or could; to pursue their own dreams no matter how old they were. These things are what keep me going now. While I will be very honest about life in the Army; and let's face it, these days the life of an American Soldier can be trying at best, and down right hell at its worst; I have to say that I still manage to see the silver lining in almost all situations. I mean, really... who wants to hear a soldier whine?

As part of this award I am to tell you 7 things about myself. Yes, SEVEN.

1. I am a Gypsy. Truly. I believe that my father's family tree has them, and if it does not it is missing branches. We traveled across the United States 4 times and I have been to all but 3 states, which are Oregon, Washington and Alaska. I have lived in 9 states, the longest being Georgia. See? A Gypsy.

2. I am certified in 2 therapy programs for those who suffer from Alzheimer's Disease. One is Memories in the Making, an art therapy program and the other is Timeslips, a storytelling therapy. I don't know why I feel called to this but I do. I plan on using them to help soldiers.

3. I want a horse. Someday I am going to have one. I want to ride across the United States as a fundraiser for wounded soldiers.

4. I love to try new foods. Even crazy kinds of foods... but I cannot bring myself to try the silkworm larvae that they boil here in Korea... it's just too much. I could see myself as a world traveler trying foods all over the globe. That would be an amazing adventure.

5. I am Level 1 Certified in Art Clay Silver and make whimsical jewelry for friends and family. I don't sell much but when I do it pays for itself. I am also Level 1 Certified in Combatives. I am now able to take down the uneducated... somehow I don't think these are remotely related.

6. I love all things art - I draw, paint, sculpt, do lithography, prints, and write... occasionally.

7. I am a tomboy and a weapons junkie. I don't have to know all the specs to the weapons - just that I can use them and hit what I am aiming at.

I don't follow a lot of blogs, unfortunately, I just don't have the time to devote to it. But I will list the ones that I do. Follow them at your own risk.

First and foremost is my husband's blog - The Worst Boy Scout Ever - I wish he would write more. He really is a funny guy. Maybe you all can convince him to write since he won't listen to me.

I would like to list my son's blog here but he hasn't updated his in ages... he comes by it honestly.

You must check out the blog of the superwoman who gave me this award - Cravings of a Lunatic. How can I best say this? Yummy. If I lived near this woman I would now be approaching 300 lbs.

The woman who knows all things Art Clay and who is the best teacher of it in the world - really - has a blog called Here There Be Dragons. She doesn't write often but when she does it is great! Scroll down to the bottom and you can access her gallery as well as the blog of her sister Eva Moon. So very worth a visit, or two or fifty...

My dear friend Shay Fabbro has several sites. She is an author and has self-published. Excellent reads - both The Chosen and Dangerous Reflections. I am proud to say that I knew and loved her before she got to be a rich and famous author. She is a very entertaining writer and a scientist to boot! Follow her at The Immortal Words of Dr. Fab and The Adventures of Alexis Davenport

Fearlessly Feminine is another blog I love. This amazing woman was with me during my Army training at Fort Jackson as a Paralegal Specialist. Every Friday we had the coffeehouse to go to to unwind from the week of madness that is mass training. Andrea also turned me on to the best kept secret at Fort Jackson - Victory Ranch sponsored by Cadence Ministries and run by a dear couple, Ron and Pam Weinzapfel. Andrea, Ron and Pam have hones the art of loving on soldiers. Something that is desperately needed during training.

I don't know if I found this blog through a friend or a search... can't remember, but I love her way with words. You can find Karen at karenjonesgowen and Coming Down the Mountain: A Writer's Blog

So, now I have to let these people know I have named them... the pressure builds!

Official Rules of the Award

1) Thank the award-giver(s) and link back to them in your post.
2) Tell your readers seven (7) things about yourself.
3) Give this award to up to fifteen (15) recently discovered bloggers.
4) Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news.

Fear Be Gone!

2011-06-04T15:14:00.004+09:00

So I lived through Army Level 1 Combatives training. I am now certified. Next stop - the Promotion Board. It looks to me that while in the Army, there will be no end to the things that will inspire fear in me and give my quickly developing ulcer more fodder. Yay. With the changes in the way the Promotion points are counted I am not sure I have enough to be promoted anyway - that kind of takes the pressure off a bit. And like my NCO says, "just give me 20 minutes." I think I can handle that.

I realize that personal growth cannot happen without getting out of my comfort zone and I also realize that I haven't seen that zone in quite some time now. I am not sure I would know what to do if I found myself in it again. Would I slowly get sucked into a recliner black hole and endless supply of salt and vinegar chips? Probably.

Although when I do imagine the scene, it has several powerful weapons in it. I just cannot see myself without Black Betty. Even now, when she is safely stored in the Armory, I imagine her propped in front of me, pop up targets waiting to be obliterated.

Fear be gone!

Don Your Boots!

2011-05-24T20:52:00.002+09:00

Fear. It seems to me that I have always been afraid.

Fear of failing followed me all throughout my school years, until high school anyway, where my fear of being a goody two shoes far outweighed my fear of bad grades.

Fear of being alone made me go boyfriend to boyfriend, husband to husband. Until now of course. I have been completely unafraid of being alone for twelve years now... it has since been replaced with the fear of NEVER being alone! (Just kidding David - Love you Honey!)

Fear of never being good enough followed me throughout the growth of four amazing, but oftentimes completely frustrating, children I call my own. This fear was validated on a daily basis when I was told quite plainly by them that I was not ever going to be good enough.

Fear of being physically maimed. This is a big one. The thought of it paralyzes me at times.

Fear. I hate it and I loathe it at the same time that I love it. Fear gives me an excuse to NOT do something. That being said: I have never let fear keep me from doing what I REALLY wanted to do, or what I felt I HAD to do.

I donned my boots! Pulled myself up by my bootstraps!

I learned in Army Basic Training that while we may feel fear, fear does not have to control us. It can't, or how would we get any soldiering done at all? It is when we allow the fear to take control and stop us from doing things, that we lose completely.

During the Confidence Courses there at Ft Jackson, SC, I developed a paralyzing fear of a log that I had to cross to get to the zip line that I REALLY wanted to do! It slowly crept up on me while watching another battle buddy struggle with it. I had been fully confident before that, even though it was twenty feet off the ground! It took me forever to get across that thing - but get across I did. I had no choice - The Drill Sergeant said so!

This week I am in training for Level 1 Combatives. It involves the strenuous working of muscles I didn't know I had and joints that DON'T MOVE THAT WAY! Dammit. The drills are intense and can result in injury - remember the physically maiming fear I mentioned above - yeah, that one - it lives. But after the first day I am only a little bruised and battered. So there is hope that I will survive the next few days to write again. In other words, I donned my boots and pulled myself up by my boot straps.

I highly suggest you try it. Life is amazing when you do so.

My Seoul

2011-02-04T13:08:00.005+09:00

I love Seoul. Truly. I like to describe it as New York City on Steroids. For this episode of Combat Boots, I have decided to make a list of the things I love.

I LOVE my Villa and its accompanying luxuries. Such as the fact that it is all one floor (unlike my house in the states), it has heated floors, the large bathrooms are user and cleaner friendly (drains in the all tile floor in an all tile room), utility costs are minimal (mostly I think because we are on the 4th floor), and the VIEW! I can't say enough about the view! It is quite certainly, amazing. The view of Banpo Bridge includes a water show, where jets spray out the side in all kinds of different patterns. Entertaining and lovely to watch while sipping a glass of wine. The balcony wraps around the side of the Villa and is large enough for a BBQ, some chairs and a table. It is a favorite hangout for my smoking friends when they visit. In the summer, we can open the windows and the breeze cool us down quickly. The only time we really must have the air conditioner on is in the middle of summer when it is the hottest and at night... I hate sweating at night. There is an elevator for grocery day but the stairs for those days when a little exercise is a must (like right before a weigh in or a PT test!) My car is safely ensconced in the garage below and stays accessible to me regardless of what the weather brings. It is truly a wonderful place to live. I feel spoiled and I am building up the memories here for when I am deployed, living in a tent with no luxuries whatsoever - for I know those days are coming!

Korean ovens. I don't ever have to worry about cooking large meals again. My oven fits a Guinea Hen rather nicely, and well, a large chicken... not so much. I think this should help with keeping my entertaining to a manageable level. Us and another couple should do it.

Online shopping. I am getting good at it. Especially since I went into a Korean lingerie shop and they measured me for a bra. The women there exclaimed many exciting things in Korean while covering their mouths and chortling... and I had to walk out empty handed and with a rather red face. It was also rather disconcerting to find myself in the plus size category as a size 8. I do love the fact that I can wear anything I want. It really is anything goes here in the fashion department. Now if only my husband felt that way...

Seoul is a walking city. I could get along here just fine without a car. On rainy and cold days, and also super hot days, it isn't so much fun -but it can be done fairly easily truth be told. The subways, buses and taxis all coexist to make it a walkers heaven. I am not exactly going for the angel of the year award in this department, but it is something to love nonetheless.

Torrential downpours. Yes, I get to often boat to Yongsan Garrison during parts of the monsoon season. It offers a change of pace and a little excitement as I careen down the sidewalk at a breakneck speed. There is no other, or better, way to do it. Using the paddle to move pedestrians out of the way is an added entertainment. I have thought about adding a 50 cal to my boats accouterments, but it is meeting with some resistance.

Taxis. Taking a taxi is fun. I sit in the back and relax as the driver makes a way where there is none, treats traffic rules and signals as optional and gets me where I want to go in record time. I may practice a little Korean and he a little English as the ride progresses. All is good in the world. Did I mention cheap? But to drive on the roads with a taxi - well, not so much... I mean, the whole traffic rules and lights being optional thing is not so great when you are sharing the road.

My "hoopty." It is a 1994 Kia Sephia. It is ugly and temperamental, however, it was only $500 and gets me back and forth to post, albeit not beautifully. I don't ever have to worry about denting my fender or marring my paint finish when hitting a taxi that just cut me off, or moving the pedestrian that wanders into the middle of the roadway out of my way. I am perfectly happy to park it with inches to spare knowing a ding or two from the car door next to it will only add to its character. Even my grocery cart loves the way it is allowed to lean up against it, resting while bags are thrown willy-nilly into the recesses of the trunk. We have a very relaxed relationship, my hoopty and me.

Itaewon. It is a great place to walk and window, or street, shop. It is a great place to meet friends, have a meal, have a drink, or two or three. There are vendors everywhere that will sell me anything. Haggling on prices is encouraged and done with vigor. I get to do an obstacle course as I wind my way through crowds and vendor carts. And as I make my way between moving cars and veering taxis my heart gets pumping and my joints loosen. There are plenty of places for me to go, play some pool, dance to some groovy music, or otherwise, chill.

The little Korean man that yells and throws things as he walks by me in Itaewon. I know he is saying really important things... if only I could understand him... I am sure I would agree.

Bulgogi Burgers at McDonald's. Yum.

Rotiboy. Another yum and a must do when visiting Itaewon.

Vendor food. 'Nuff said.

Yes, living in Seoul has definitely broadened my horizons and opened my eyes to the many blessings I enjoy here. I am going to like being here for a few more years. There is so much more for me to experience and learn to love. I look forward to traveling into other parts of Asia as well. I want to hike Mt Fuji, scuba in Okinawa, walk the Great Wall of China and get to Russia if I can as well. Much to do, much to do...

Oh, and I love running the hills here on post. Really. I know if I say it enough and with enough enthusiasm I will believe it, and you will too.

The Chameleon and the Dragonfly

2010-08-08T14:45:00.005+09:00

Anyone who knows me and knows my husband, knows that we have been each other's mainstay for the better part of 11 years now. We have been joined at the hip for all that time and neither one of us saw the need to have much outside of each other. That has now changed. For me at least.

After a year of living apart, of me attending Basic Training, AIT and then living in Seoul at my first duty station for 4 months or so before David joining me - we are now having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the changes in each other. Or the lack of them. It is taking some time to get back the easy communication we experienced before.

I know I am a different person now. I am not the chameleon that I once was - I do not conform myself to my significant other anymore. I have become my own person. Strong willed (I have always been thus - but now even more so because I know more about myself), optimistic (I was incredibly cynical before), at peace inside (I carried around a lot of anger inside for most of my life), and out-going (I had let David make me a homebody and hermit like person over the years.) I like who I am now. It frustrates me that the changes I have made are not all satisfactory to my man.

And while my man believes he has not changed, he has. He has become more controlling over the past year. I think being in charge of the house has given him plenty of time to learn what he likes and doesn't like. He is more adamant about running things the way he wants to. He is less accommodating. And while this is not an earth shattering change, it is still an adjustment. He seems more clingy to me now, but I think that this may be a matter of perception. I now enjoy my alone time and I enjoy the lack of responsibility that comes with only looking after myself and my own happiness. I spend a lot more time "in my own head." This makes this clinging sometimes feel smothering. But it is something we can work on together.

I think this is equivalent to the turmoil that happens to a marriage when the kids move out. The time has come to work hard to embrace the changes in each other and to allow each other to grow - together and apart. We need to be able to stand strong on our own and then we will be all the more strong together. But it is hard. And scary. And it makes me feel guilty - and that is the bad part. I don't want to feel guilty for being me, especially when I like who I am now. For the first time I am content with who I am.

I want to be me and have my best friend too. But I don't want to give up who I am, become that chameleon once again to make life easier - because in the long run, it won't be easier.

The chameleon is gone and the dragonfly has taken its place.

Streams in the Desert

2010-05-02T03:43:00.003+09:00

There are so many new cool things to talk about. I am going to do a stream of consciousness writing for this blog because all the things I am thinking encompass different subjects.

I was walking back to the barracks a few weeks ago and all of a sudden I was surrounded by the most amazing smell. Now anyone that has spent any time at the Yongsan Garrison knows that when anyone talks of smells it is usually not in a positive way. Quite frankly, the sewage system leaves a lot to be desired and the reek of it will often attack you in the most inopportune moments - like when you are gasping for breath after a run on MP Hill. Gasping for breath generally entails mouth wide open - totally wicked gross. So back to that most amazing smell - LILACS! In full bloom. All of a sudden I had a flashback to my room in my old house on Hall Street in Portland Maine. I had the best lilac tree right outside my window and when the window was open it filled my room with the scent of its flowers. Nice memories. It made me homesick.

Last Monday I received my newly cut orders with permission to bring my husband to Seoul. A weight lifted off my shoulders as I contemplated two or three years there with my husband. Him by my side and a new fresh start for him is everything we wanted. Did I say my husband has to have surgery before he comes over to live? He does. He needs open heart surgery to replace his aortic valve which is not functioning correctly. It has been the cause of his not being able to really do anything athletic over the past five years. He is looking forward to having his life back. I am looking forward to it as well, although I am terrified of the surgery. Yes I said it out loud. It terrifies me. I will not think of life without him. Will not. But cannot help visiting this in my nightmares. I wake up in a cold sweat - cannot wait until it is over and he is well on his way to recovery. Cannot wait until he is with me in Seoul. And we are picking up where we left off before I went into training. I realized last night that we have been apart for almost the whole 9th year of our marriage. It is a wake up call in a different way - one that forces us to never take for granted what we have in each other.

I am home now on emergency leave. David has surgery on Tuesday. I don't like dwelling on it and have my own form of escapism planned. My son, Nate and I are going skydiving tomorrow. We have been planning this for a long time and now is our chance before he leaves for Okinawa and I go back to Seoul. Some might see this as selfish - skydiving right before my husband's surgery, but I see it as a way to face life head on - face all my fears face to face. To break through barriers of limitations. To awaken the courage I have inside - to glorify in the rush of adrenaline. I only wish I had long hair again for the wind to rush through...

More later, I am going to go spend some quality time shopping with my man. And my son. Before outside forces rush in and claim us.

I Am Amazed

2010-04-07T18:36:00.006+09:00

Every time I get on this blog and see a comment from a reader thanking me for it, I am amazed.

I have never seen myself as any great writer. In fact, I have often lamented to my daughter and my husband that I wish I had the gift of expression that they do. My husband writes wonderfully, with lots of humor and imaginative material. My daughter writes prose and poetry, the like of which brings me to tears, it is so incredibly moving. When comparing myself to them I seem a piddly writer at best.

I read once somewhere that an author should write about what they know or would love to know about. I am assuming that if you love it than the research will be done more completely and with more joy than trying to learn about something you just cannot stomach. Makes sense. So, I guess writing about my Army training and career set me off on this path of writing about something I have experienced. Enjoyed. And know a little something about. This meets all requirements as far as I can tell.

I am, at heart, an optimistic person. I have not always been but that is what happens when you meet the love of your life, get a life and then decide that life is good, regardless. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely trials - one I am going through right now is the process of trying to get the love of my life over here to Korea. The process itself is not hard but the people processing it are less than... well, less than. It is a depressing process. However, the Soldier's Creed plainly states that "I will never quit" and I won't. I may complain - loudly - but I will not stop trying. This is good I think when serving your country requires great sacrifices from both you and your loved ones.

Today as I was contemplating who I could get angry with, without losing my rank, a pheasant strut by outside my office. A pheasant! Out for a leisurely stroll, relaxed as could be. I thought to myself that since I had joined the Army I had seen wonderful things (like a sunrise - LOL! - anyone who knows me knows how I detest mornings...) and experienced wondrous things (like my body actually doing some pretty intense physical exercise!)... so, would getting angry really accomplish anything in the long run? No. It will just give me an ulcer. And I have enough issues.

May God bless you and show you wondrous things! And may you focus your eyes and see.

Artemis in Seoulland

2010-03-13T18:46:00.008+09:00

I saw Alice in Wonderland today. I can totally relate to the disorientation of finding myself in a place where I don't know anyone and where they speak in strange tongues.

It started with the 14 hour flight that seemed just like falling down a rabbit hole. I ate strange foods and found myself becoming someone other than the woman I am used to being. I am a world traveler.

I have been transformed from a civilian wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend into a soldier. There are adventures to pursue, enemies to overcome, people to assist and cases to prepare. It is a busy life. A good life. The only thing that would make it perfect is if I could do this with all my family and friends close by.

I would be ecstatic to have my husband here by my side! Soon please!

And while I can see several of the characters from the movie in my new life here, I have yet to find the Mad Hatter... I see myself as Alice, but what if, the Mad Hatter, is me?

Time Travel Is Oh, So Military

2010-03-02T19:55:00.004+09:00

Leaving my husband was difficult, as usual. It is always hard to have my heart ripped from my chest as I walk away, not really knowing when I will see my best friend again and the pieces of my heart returned to their rightful spot. He, on the other hand, informed me that he did not even shed a tear, knowing he would be seeing me again very soon.

Skype helps.

The flight from Atlanta to JFK was a nice appetizer to the main course that consisted of 14 hours in a coach seat on a stuffy airplane as we flew from JFK to Incheon, South Korea. Not bad really. I sat next to a fellow soldier, Korean born, lucky me! He graciously showed me how to eat the Korean food served on the flight. It was awesome! I love to experience new foods. It makes me happy.

I was very happy. Twice.

Once at the Incheon Airport, I went through security and customs quickly. Easy squeezy. I love being in the military. It definitely has its perks. Once finished with the official business, we signed in for the next bus to Yongsan which left at 8am. Oh, did I mention the time difference?

I left Atlanta on Sunday, February 28th at 5:30pm. I arrived in Korea on Tuesday morning at 5am. I completely skipped Monday. Totally. And completely. All those years when I worked in the office wishing I could skip Mondays... all I had to do was join the Armed Forces to do it!

Just another perk being in the military offers - Time Travel! Sweet!

In-processing today was painless and I ended up having from lunch time on to get settled into the hotel, have something to eat, go chase down chargers for electronics... etc... The Dragon Hill Hotel is very comfortable, would meet my husband's 3 C's (clean, comfortable and... I can't for the life of me remember the other "C" - I keep wanting to say "cuiet"), and in no way prepares me for barracks living I am sure!

I have traveled forward in time, video called my husband, caught up on Facebook and updated my blog... overall a very productive day. Now if only I could not scratch the very itchy small pox vaccination spot... to spread that would be very bad... pray for me.

I am off to bed - it has been a long Sunday and Tuesday.

Duty Calls

2010-02-28T11:36:00.006+09:00

So, here I sit at home. The night before I leave for my new duty station.

It is probably the last time I will see my black lab Worf. He is 14 this summer and I cannot take him with me. He and our other dog, a medium size terrier mix named Fozzie, will have to go to a foster home until my two year assignment is done. I also have a lovebird, Jiggy, who will be staying with friends until we get back. The only pet we will get to take is our kitty Remy. Thank goodness we can at least take her.

I look around and see years of "collecting." I cannot even begin to sort through it all. There are things we need to get rid of, sell or give to charity. Things that will have to go into storage and then of course the things I want to take with me (which is really everything since I really want my home over there, not here...)

I want my husband and all his ecoutrements. I am not sure how long it will take to get him over there, but I am hoping that things will go smoothly and it will be soon. It has already been six months that we have had to be separated. I don't like it. Neither does he. That is a good thing though seeing that we are married and spending the rest of our earthly lives together.

I want my family and my friends. Is that too much to ask?

Books. I must have my books. All of them. I don't care if I have to stack them all over the new place. I want all my books.

Art. I want my art. And all my art stuff. Just in case it is pouring rain in the summer and I don't want to go out on the weekend - I will have something to do besides read all those books. Just for variety. Because we all need variety.

Saying I am anxious about this move is an understatement. I have been having attacks all day. I need more time. More time to see family and friends. More time to analyze our belongings and to separate them into categories.

I need more time to just be.

The Army doesn't see it that way though. They want me now. At the Yongsan Garrison. In Seoul, South Korea.

Duty calls.

A Call for Forgiveness

2010-01-23T12:24:00.004+09:00

So - I have been at AIT (Advanced Individual Training) since October 31st. I had to wait two weeks to get into a class. It was details every day all day...
Raking leaves, sweeping sidewalks and general cleanup, errands for the Sergeants, etc., to keep us busy while waiting for an instructor.

I have been training as a Paralegal - a 27D now for about 2 months. The training itself has been easy but, the living with 100 other women on the same floor in the barracks has truly been a chore... well, there are a few battles that I will have for life - and I would give my life for them - but there are some that really shouldn't be here.

I am the barracks mom. Of course.

I have struggled with getting an internet connection, with a broken laptop, with Sergeants hell bent on taking over all my personal time.

Personal time? What's that?

A need for sleep and various other issues over the past two and a half months and basically let all you wonderful readers down. I apologize wholeheartedly and will try very hard to do better.

My schedule here Monday through Friday (for those curious souls out there) is as follows:

4am wake up (or sometimes 5am if they are feeling generous)

5-7am Physical Training or "PT"

7-8am Detail and cleaning of our room

8-8:30am Breakfast (Chow!)

9-12:30pm Class

12:30-1:30 Lunch (Chow!)

1:30-5pm Class

5-6:30pm Personal Time (Ha! This is spent cleaning and responding to different orders from the Sergeants - new tortures are provided for entertainment every day!

6:30-7pm Dinner (Chow!)

8-8:45pm Night Accountability Formation

9pm Lights Out!

On the weekend it goes something like this:

6am Wakeup! (Yay - we get to sleep in!)

6:30-11am Bay Maintenance (getting ready for inspection)

11am Inspection

1pm Release on post pass

8pm Evening Formation (on Sunday it is 7pm)

11pm Lights Out (except when it is at 10pm - depending on the Sergeant on duty, or if it is Sunday when it is 9pm)

That is my life in a nutshell - or maybe nuthouse is a better description... :o)

Life in the Army really isn't that bad if you don't mind being flexible and spontaneous. Those are two virtues you MUST cultivate.

In fact, they really need to add those to the Army Values list...

The Last Days of Pompeii (aka Army Basic Training)

2009-11-19T10:05:00.004+09:00

I got the last of Dela's blog notes from BCT. After this, I'm relieved of duty and she will begin to update her blog again.

Wed. Oct. 14

Today was Omaha Beach day. It was raining buckets again so it was cancelled. They are taking no chances with the live fire I guess. There is a RUMOR (on the PNN -- Private News Network) that a bullet ricocheted and hit someone at this exercise at one time. I have not been able to verify this though. There are so many safeties in place for trainees that if it did happen, it had to be a freak accident.

Instead of Omaha, we had a locker inspection. Mine was the first locker inspected. I had nothing I wasn't supposed to have so there were no worries for me. The only comment Drill Sergeant had was when he was holding two handfuls of letters from my hubby. "I suspect that there is no fraternization going on with you." I told him, "No, my husband certainly would not approve." :) One of the other privates had a bag of leftover food from her MRE's and two others were found fraternizing. They were disciplined quite severely. They lost pay and had extra duty. Such stupid things to do and especially so close to graduation. DUH!

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Thur. Oct. 15

Today I spent half the day at Dental being a Battle Buddy. I missed PT in Full Battle Rattle. Bummer. It was pretty grueling from what I have heard. It included a 1/2 mile run, 50 yard sprint, drag your battle buddy, fireman carry your battle buddy, then carry two 25 lb. jugs across the field over an obstacle, and hang from the pull up bar for 30 seconds. UGH! It will be nice if I don't have to make that up!

Tonight we worked on our Berets (shaving and shaping) [editor's note: I have no idea what "shaving" a beret entails. Do they come with whiskers?] and everyone got excited for when Victory Forge is over and we could legitimately wear them. Hooah!

A church service completed my night. We leave for Victory Forge on Saturday!

*We also ordered our Battalion and Platoon t-shirts. I thought they were cool. And I just had to get 2 shot glasses. :)

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Fri. Oct. 16

Today we spent packing Victory Forge. Making sure we had everything we needed for the week in the field. And, of course, we had to make sure our weapons were clean.

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Sat. Oct. 17

Not a typical Saturday. Today we leave for Victory Forge. Never really thought this day would ever come. It seemed both quick in its arrival and long in getting here. Breakfast was at the DFAC. A decent meal for our sendoff.

We were motormoved to our F.O.B. (Forward Operating Base) and threw our stuff in tent. Our tent held all 2nd platoon females. All 23 of them. Our cots were 10 inches apart. Much too close for comfort. We motormoved a short distance away and practiced direct and indirect fire. We were there all day. It was pretty chilly out and a lot of the day was spent sitting, waiting on our turn. Then we did it all again in the dark with NVG's on. It was a fairly easy day and it would have been even better if the weather was just a little bit warmer. My fireguard shift was frigid!

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Sun. Oct. 18

Not a typical Sunday either. We were up in the dark and motormoved to the range for Omaha Beach (we are doing it -- finally!). In Basttle Buddy teams we had to traverse an obstacle course (barriers and tires, walls, barrels, etc.) firing live rounds at the "enemy" (pop up targets). We were each followed by a drill sergeant to ensure safety. It really was easy and despite the chilly morning the day ended up being quite gorgeous.

We were then moved, by bus, back to the F.O.B. where we had chow and a little personal time.

It was dark so fast that I had to "bathe" and change clothes, arrange my stuff and roll out my sleeping bag in the pitch dark. Joy!

It is a bitter cold night and I have fireguard in the middle of the night. Brrrr! Someone said our nights were going to down to 28° F! Mega BRRRR!

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Mon. Oct. 19

This morning was super chilly. We can see our breath but not feel our fingers, toes or noses. I have definitely been in the South too long. My blood has thinned. After breakfast we were told we had ECP duty today. ECP is "Entry Control Point" and consists of staggered barricades, barbed wire, a tower and weapon points. There is also a vehicle search area. Our first rotation would be to providce extra security for the ECP in case of attack. If attacked and in need of us, they would call us in over the radio. We would then respond as we would for direct fire. We posted at our patrol point and waited.

It was a nice break to stand around and plan our response, chat with the drill sergeants. It was starting to warm up into a nice, sunny day. We heard gunfire and soon after were called into action. Our maneuver squad eliminated most of the opposition before the flanking squad ever got there. It was a well planned response. We were later told that an enemy sniper had been concealed and shot us all dead. Oh well. It was a really good time anyway.

The maneuver squad was then posted at the ECP to relieve the other platoon and we went back to the tent to await our turn. Since security was a 24 hr assignment, we were told to sleep when we could. I napped a bit but was mostly just enjoying some down time.

We waited all day. And most of the night. Our ECP orders ended up being from 11 pm to 2 am. It was SO COLD! Even the drill sergeant was not immune to the temperature. (I thought they had classes on how to be immune to the cold, pain and no sleep but this is not so.) I was hoping we would get attacked just so the adrenaline rush would warm me up, but alas, nothing happened. I manned a SAW on the right side of the twoer facing the woods and pretended to shoot phantom enemy which were really only shadows. Bummer.

I was sure glad to crawl into that sleeping bag finally! Warmth!

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Tues Oct. 20

An early morning march of about 3 miles greeted us. We marched to a range for another live fire exercise. First a "dry run" with blanks and then again with live rounds.

In squads, we went up a hill in a wedge formation until we heard gunfire. Then we dropped to the ground and the two teams in the squad used the 3-5 second rush to bound from cover to cover until we were all on line. Once on line we moved forward to a grey wall. Over thew wall we went and all posted up in various spots to hit pop up targets down range. My squad was very successful and we all got "go's". We had no safety violations and executed our manuever well. We ended up being at the range all day.

A motormove took us back to the FOB where we climbed into our sleeping bags. Cold and exhausted.

I slept pretty well despite it all.

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Wed Oct. 21

Motormove to the MOUT range. It was still dark when we got there.

All day we practiced entering a building, clearing rooms, safely going upstairs (the video guy got us doing this ) covering a team exiting one building and entering another, how to use cover and concealment in an urban terrain, etc.

Once everyone did this in squads we practiced some more. Once night fell we donned the NVG's and executed our drills once again. Practicing direct fire maneuvers in the dark was the only really hard part of the day. I continued to roll my ankle on the pine needles, rocks, holes, etc. found everywhere here. I am not sure it will ever really have a chance to heal correctly. It just seems to get worse each day. I hope I make it to graduation.

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Thur Oct. 22

Everyone is excited -- today is our last day in the field. Hooah!

Validation lanes took up the whole day -- along with getting everything ready to go and policing the area. I was a little tired form doing both my fireguard and my battle buddy's. She was giving me $40 though for one hour -- how could I say no?

Overall, I really enjoyed the things we got to do. My squad works well together and firing my M16 is always fun.

Our drill sergeant let us put our weapons on burst and fire off the rest of our rounds. That was pretty cool -- there was a a lot more flame coming out of the barrel than before. I could see it clearly in the daylight.

Right before chow I had my ankles taped by an athletic trainer for the 6-mile Victory March "home". My DS caught and bawled me out for going without his permission. I felt bad because I hadn't realized I had to go through my chain of command for it.

I had some chow and while eating, the DS told me to get my stuff together and get into the 5-ton. There were about 16 of us that were chosen from among the platoons to ride the 5-ton back to the bay. My DS and I had a staring contest -- me pleading to be allowed to march with my platoon. Finally, he just looked at me and said, "Soldier! You are not marching!" I couldn't help it but I started to cry. He came over to me and asked me why was I crying?

I told him that I wanted to march -- I wanted to complete everything. He said, "I can't send you to AIT broken. If you hurt yourself more in this march, which is not required, you would have to remain here as a holdover. You have completed everything. Let me do my job."

I understood. But I didn't have to like it! On the ride back to the bay, DS Potter told me, "There is a fine line between pride and stupidity. And the only better than going to Basic Training at 40 and graduating, would be going to basic training and graduating at 41!" He really cheered me with those words.

Once back at the bay we cleaned up and got things ready for the Beret Ceremony. Seeing our Company come around the corner was a great sight! We were at the top of the hill by the drill pad cheering them all on. I wanted SO BAD TO HAVE BEDEN ONE OF THEM!! It made the night rather bittersweet.

The Beret Ceremony was nice. A little ceremony, some laughter, and a bonfire. Nice.

The best part of the day, besides being called soldiers and donning our new headgear, was making up my cheap twin mattress and snuggling under that Army green wool blanket.

Warmth!

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Fri Oct. 23

So this is our first day of recovery -- and all we have done is turn in, and clean of course, all our gear. It has to be all laid out in a particular fashion so inventory can be taken. Also this is the time for worn equipment and obsolete equipment to be replaced or taken away. It was a frustrating day with too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

And there are always those who conveniently "disappear" when any real work needed to be done.

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Sat Oct. 24

More of the same, laying stuff out, counting, scavenger hunting up missing equipment, more counting, etc., etc.

Blah.

The days are dragging! And I am having a hard time getting along with some of my battle buddies.

Ugh.

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Sun Oct. 25

Church! Bible Study! Yay!

We also had to complete one more Battlemind Survey. [I don't know what this is, but I think it's some kind of psycho-kinetic exercise. -- ed.] It was hard staying awake long enough to fill in the little bubbles. Some of my little bubbles had stray lines... hope it doesn't mess anything up. :)

These days are so long. I think I liked it better when we were insanely busy -- at least then the time moved faster!!

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Mon Oct. 26

Out processing! I fought to stay awake through the briefing. Then back at the bay we received our freshly pressed Class A uniforms. Nice!

Not much else going on besides the inventory checks, rechecks and more rechecks... I am not sure that process will ever truly end...

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Tues Oct. 27

Today was Graduation Practice. In the pouring rain. We got soaked!

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Wed Oct. 28

Today was Graduation Practice. In beautiful weather. We dried out.

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Thurs Oct. 29

Family Day! We came running across the field through smoke and simulated mortars. Cool stuff!

Lynnze and Dani found me first. Then David and Mom. It was a very happy reunion. We hung out on post for the day. It was heaven!

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Fri Oct. 30

Graduation Day -- off post. More heaven!! :)

Debutante Denoument

2009-10-25T06:44:00.003+09:00

I got a call from our soldier today! We got to talk for an entire 12 minutes and 38 seconds!!

Okay, they're all back from Victory Forge and the result is...

She passed everything and is all set to graduate on Friday!

So Victory Forge wasn't hard and in fact was a lot of fun. The big disappointment was that she wasn't allowed to march back with her platoon. She'd hurt her ankle again during some of the exercises and the drill sergeant made her ride back. She tried to insist and even begged a little. She wanted to be with her platoon as they marched up Victory Hill. But the sergeant patiently explained that he couldn't send her to AIT broken and that if her ankle were injured any more she'd be held over. So she rode back and cheered her platoon on as they marched up the hill.

(As it turns out, keeping her from marching was a good thing. The hill is treacherous and it was dark. Many people fell, including one of the drill sergeants.)

Next week is all about administrative tasks and practicing for graduation.

Hoo-ah!

A message from the past...

2009-10-20T13:24:00.002+09:00

I got another letter from the wifey today, sent late last week. It's probably the last one I'll get for awhile, as I doubt she'll be able to write (or least send mail out) while at Victory Forge. I got one page of letter, you get 9 pages of blog notes. I hope you're happy.

Oct. 3

We spent this whole beautiful day getting our Class A uniforms issued. Although tedious, it was exciting to get them. Not only are we expected to clean ourselves up and graduate, we are expected to do it in style.

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Oct. 4

Finally, a restful Sunday. And a phone call. A really, truly perfect day. :)

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Oct . 5

So today was our first real rainy day here. It was both rainy and cold. And we spent the whole day in it, out at the range.

It was the US Weapons range where we got to fire some of the bigger weapons.

I fired the M240B machine gun, the 50 cal, the M203 grenade launcher, the AT4 rocket launcher, and the SAW [Squad Automatic Weapon, an M249 light machine gun]. The sound vibrated through our bodies. Every third round or so was a tracer round so we could see where they went.

Despite the weather, it was one of the best days here. I think the sound of the 50 cal was the best.

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Oct. 6

Wake up was at 4:30 am with first formation at 4:55 am. Full Battle Rattle. And then we started our 9 mile march. I re-sprained my ankle in the third mile when I fell. The pace was fast and it was still dark. With my bad ankle I was an accident waiting to happen. But I made it. I had to move back to the front during the last rest stop but from then on remained with my platoon. It took 3 1/2 hours for us to march 9 miles with 3 rest stops. Not too bad.

We got to the training area, had breakfast (yes, we marched all that way on an empty stomach) and then set up our hooches [huts].

We had a briefing and then had lunch. After lunch we went through the Validation Lane -- going over an obstacle, under an obstacle, indirect fire, direct fire, treating a casualty and the 9-line Medevac. We also go to fire blanks at our "enemy".

After chow it got dark rather quickly. We donned our Night Vision Goggles and proceeded to do a night patrol where we encountered direct fire. We responded as well as we could in the pitch dark with ill-fitting and unfocused NVGs. It was great fun. Everything looked a little eerie.

I did a fireguard shift and then sacked completely out in the sleeping bag. It was a cool night and the bugs left me alone. The moon was bright through the clouds. It looked like it was starting to clear up. :)

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Oct. 7

Now I know I have been in the South for far too long. It was down right chilly this morning! I did not want to get out of my sleeping bag -- and it was still dark out. How am I supposed to find anything? Chow was lukewarm food trucked in from the DFAC. Blech.

Then we had MOUT Training (Military Operations in Urban Terrain). We went to the MOUT Range and practiced "swat style" building entries. Kick the door in , clear the room and safely exiting. All without getting killed. It was a pretty fun day -- we had a nice breeze that kept it form getting too hot and the training was fairly easy to pick up.

We then had the chance to do the same exercises with the NVGs. I looked up at the sky with them on and was in awe! The NVGs pick up even the most miniscule bits of light so the sky was peppered in stars. [Editor's note: I would have said "salted" but that's just me.] I could have stayed looking at that incredible sight all night long.

Then it was a motormove back to the training area and we marched back to camp. On the "FOB" as it is called.

The sleeping bag felt wonderful to crawl into.

*Oh, I almost forgot -- the Chaplain came out to the range to see me today. We had a really nice conversation and he was greatly encouraging. Taking a risk is a leap of faith -- and I must trust in Him to take me where I need to go. God is good.

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Oct. 8

Now today was Round Robin. It was easy going to the different stations and learning, fine tuning the skills we would need for Victory Forge. None of it is hard -- you just have to keep your head. We did direct and indirect fire, CLS exercises, patrolling and IED training (that was really fun -- especially since we were the only squad that didn't set off the trip wire). We did lose a person to a roadside IED though. :( We got back to the bay via a motormove after marching out in the fading light.

The hot shower felt so wonderful, even if it was short.

I did my fireguard shift and fell into bed. It isn't the greatest mattress, but damn, it was nice to be in a bed. These old bones were grateful. :)

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Oct. 9

Today was Post Detail. We went to the Defense Academy for Credibility Assessment to help with some research/testing. This is where they train Poloygraph Examiners. The students were being tested on us by taking us through a security interview.

Even though I knew it was for research I was still nervous. I even cried at the end when the man doing my interview/screening was sympathetic towards my 40 years of baggage. :) My "lawyer" came in and "saved" me. In between testing we got to watch movies, read magazines, and write letters. It was a really nice day. The school treated us like real humans for the day and not scummy little know-nothing privates. It was a nice change of pace.

We marched to chow, did hydration formation, and went to bed. Sleep is a rare and treasured commodity here.

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Oct. 10

Happy Birthday my love! (I was thinking of you ALL DAY LONG!!) And this was quite a feat seeing as how today I got to throw 2 live hand grenades. Awesome! I felt like Marvin the Martian waiting for the "Ka-boom!" That explosion rocked me to my bones. Never thought much about them before. No more underestimating their power. It was a good, fun day. And it was made even better when the Drill Sergeant let me call my man for his birthday! Sweet!

*We phased from White to Blue today. I even got kind of emotional over it. I think it finally hit me that I am almost done with Basic Training and I will be able to see it through to the end. I am sore and I have some growing issues in my knees and feet, but I am making it! I will graduate! I will see my man! :)

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Oct. 11

Yay Sunday! The sermon was pretty good today. Bible Study was incredible! So many things to pray about!!

An easy day today. Eat, church, clean weapons, eat, go to PX, eat, clean weapons, beautification... typical Sunday.

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Oct. 12

It is raining buckets. And we are going to the range for Combat Shoot. Should be a good time. I hope I can keep my feet dry...

Well, it poured all day long. I managed to qualify again with score of 17 -- which was not easy.

Targets were hard to see and my front sight post kept getting a water bubble in it that I had to keep blowing out. All 3 magazines also had silver bullets (duds) that caused me misfire, so I had to clear it. And I had to change empty magazines twice.

I also managed to keep my left foot dry. The right one went swimming.

*We got to call home tonight! Sweet!! I love making phone calls when we don't expect it. :)

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Oct. 13

PT Test! 18 push ups, 70 sit ups, and my 2 mile run in 19:01. (I took off another 3 minutes!) All totaled I achieved a score of 247 out of 300. Not too shabby for an old lady! :)

We had a little down time here and there but mostly we trained. We had to negotiate obstacles and "fire" on the enemy in buddy pairs. We were all pretty beat but managed to make it through just in time for NIC at Night. No, not TV. Night Infiltration Course. We lined up in a trench (did I mention the 2 feet of cold water?) We had to go up the side of the trench as fast as we could, high crawl [hands and knees] to our first low crawl [belly] under barbed wire, between stakes 24" high, around mortar pits and under another barbed wire. We could only low and high crawl or do a modified crawl on our back. Total distance we crawled was about 85 yards. I was full of sand. And now I have 2 pairs of wet boots.

A fireguard shift completed my night. 1-3 am. Blah!

*The low crawl was a real bear. And it just seemed like I would never get there. I did though and I was so completely exhausted.

It pissed me off that the weapon I had so meticulously cleaned this afternoon now had so much sand in it that it probably just needed a batch! So, I did that on Fireguard. :)

Victory (Forge) is in sight!

2009-10-18T05:43:00.003+09:00

3-34 (Rock Force!) had their final PT Test this last week. For most companies it was on Tuesday, including our girl in Charlie Company. I received a letter from her today that she wrote Wednesday night, and she didn't mention the test at all. So I'm going to assume that's a good thing and that she passed. (The only thing she was worried about was doing enough "correct form" push ups.)

The 3-34 Facebook page had this to say this morning:

Rock Force Soldiers are preparing to leave right now for Victory Forge. The field training exercise (FTX) is a six day, five night culminating event that validates all training that the Soldiers received during Basic. They will be returning from the field late on 22 Oct and will be begin recovery operations on 23 Oct in preparation for Graduation Week.

It's a big deal and will be very demanding for the soldiers. At least it looks like the weather will be favorable. To get a flavor for Victory Forge, go HERE or Google it. There's lots of info out there.

Less than 2 weeks until graduation! I should consider showering soon.

Rock on, Rock Force!

If it's raining, it must be the weekend

2009-10-10T13:10:00.002+09:00

More blog notes from Soulja Girl:

Sept. 21

PT and an AGR started our morning. Then it was chow and a march to "play" the video game range again. This time it was pop up targets and I did horribly. My eyepro kept fogging up and my helmet was falling forward. Both of these issues made even sighting a target impossible. I felt pretty bad, physically and mentally most of the day. Here it is almost October and it is still as hot as hell and twice as humid. Blah!

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Sept. 22

Happy Anniversary to me and my hubby! 8 years together and I cannot imagine ever loving him more than I do right now. Baby! You are the very best husband ever! In the whole world! I don't even remember anything about the day. My thoughts were filled with how I would spend our anniversary when I am finally out of this place!

[Editor's note: I didn't make any of that up.]

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Sept. 23

Today we marched. And marched. And marched. This was our 6-mile march in full gear. I managed to finish it but I fell all the way to the back. We finally got to Range 19 and had some breakfast -- lukewarm from the DFAC.

Then we got in line to shoot on the lanes we would be qualifying in. The pop up targets were at various distances: 50-75-100-150-200-300. I enjoyed the practice but was only able to hit 20 out of 40 targets. I don't even know the score I had the second time because my targets malfunctioned :( and I had a malfunction. It also would have helped if I had been firing at my own targets! Oops. It was a very long hot day at the range. We were all very happy to get on the buses home!

Never thought I would love buses so much -- or that I would think of the bay as "home".

Hot shower! Yes!!

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Sept. 24

Another motormove to the range today. I was able to shoot a 25 and a 27 (out of 40). Both are qualifying but I really want to get Sharpshooter. My last coach -- a guy by the name of Merkley helped me very much. I left the range with a good feeling. My goal -- Sharpshooter. 30+ targets!

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Sept. 25

I made my goal -- I think the prayer and coaching from the day before really helped. I shot 30 our of 40 targets on my first try -- both qualifying and getting Sharpshooter. Life is good.

I can't believe how many people we have lost. Our company started out with about 218 privates. We are now down to about 182. our platoon alone is losing 5 more people sometime next week. That isn't counting any from the other 3 platoons. Most are young too. Sad! :(

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Sept. 26

Today we got to sleep in until 6am! LOL.

Combatives was the order of the day. We got to spar each other. I got kicked in the head and saw stars but no other side effects. I made it through the sessions okay. Mostly everyone treated me like I was their mom, with a few exceptions. It was a good day overall. A little company "beautification" ended our day.

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Sept. 27

No phone call today. :( This one "lifeline" is the highlight of my week. It was a fairly restful day. Church was good. Bible Study was the best, and we got to go to the PX. If I had been able to make my phone call to my man it would have been a perfect day.

Oh well. It is BCT.

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Sept. 28

Today we did combat shooting at Range 19. It really was pretty fun and nerve-wracking as well. We had to run up to a barrier in the "ready" -- weapon pointed at the enemy. Then kneel and shoot the pop up targets. We had 3 magazines with 10 rounds each. Then we had to switch to the prone position and fire around the barrier from the ground. One of the the 3 magazines gave me a double feed. So I had to clear my weapon before firing on more targets. Next was firing from a standing position using the barrier for cover.

The first time I only hit 14 targets (standard is 16) but the second time I hit 18. I think we get to do it again. I hope so -- it was pretty cool even with the weapon malfunction. :)

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Sept. 29

Today we marched to the confidence course. (See David's letter for details.) [Editor's note: I'm going to have to dig through her letters for details on this. Watch for an update.]

The balance beam to the zip line almost took me out. I hated having such a hard time with it. For whatever reason I just couldn't wrap my head around actually walking across it. My DS was very encouraging. :) His push helped me finally make my way across. It was actually a really great day -- even marching back was fine. I conquered some fears and even had my picture taken (with the other golden girls) for the Facebook page! We won't talk about the video...

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Sept. 30

PT Test! I got 11 push ups! 59 sit ups and ran my 2 miles in 21:27. Total points were 204 out of 300. :) Then we spent some time at EST to practice close range combat shooting. 25m and less. I didn't do too bad either. Things are looking good.

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Oct. 1

We are going to the range this afternoon for some close combat shooting (live fire this time) and for night fire with Night Vision Goggles and a PAQ 4 laser. Should be fun... SO AWESOME!

Motormove to the range -- buses here are such a glorious sight! The shoot was for a streamer. We had to shoot at a silhouette target from various distances and angles. Total possible pts were 300 and I scored 294. :)

Not sure yet who won the streamer. The night fire was cool -- everything was green and surreal, and frustrating. It was hard to see since the goggles were not personalized to me and the laser was set to a larger circle (instead of pinpoint) and hid my target. Oh well, it was just familiarization anyway.

We got motormoved at 2230. Exhausted of course.

Family Day / Graduation info

2009-10-04T12:59:00.003+09:00

Family Day

Date:	Thursday, October 29, 2009
Time:	9:00am - 10:00am
Location:	Hilton Field, Fort Jackson, SC

Family Members of the almost 1,200 Soldiers of the Rock Force Battalion will finally be able to see their loved ones as the battalion hosts the 3-34th Infantry Family Day Ceremony on 29 October at 0900 on Hilton Field. The ceremony lasts only about 30 minutes and afterwards Soldiers are given an ON POST pass until 8:00pm. Please allow yourself plenty of time to get on post as traffic is very heavy getting to Hilton Field. To get on post, you must have a valid driver's license, proof of insurance, and vehicle registration. If you are driving a rental car, then the rental car agreement is sufficient. Adult Passengers must simply have a photo ID.

Graduation Day

Start Time:	Friday, October 30, 2009 at 9:00am
End Time:	Saturday, October 31, 2009 at 10:00am
Location:	Hilton Field, Fort Jackson, SC

After 10 long weeks, the almost 1,200 Soldiers of the Rock Force Battalion will walk across Hilton Field at Fort Jackson and officially become US Army Soldiers. The ceremony will begin at 0900 and usually lasts about 30 to 45 minutes. Traffic is very heavy, so plan on arriving on post at least an hour before the ceremony. In order to get on post, you must have a valid driver's license, proof of insurance, and vehicle registration. If you are driving a rental car, then the rental car agreement will be sufficient. Adult Passengers must simply have a photo ID.

Seeking maid. No experience necessary. Must fit uniform.

2009-10-03T14:14:00.002+09:00

So I have our girl's graduation information:

Family Day is on Oct. 29.

Graduation is on Oct. 30.

On Family Day, she should have an on-post pass, meaning she can move freely around most of the base to show family and friends different things.

On Graduation Day, she should have an off-post pass for the day and will have to be back at her post by 8:30pm.

Just so ya'll know, I call dibs on my wife for the entire afternoon/evening of Graduation Day. I'm willing to share her through lunch time, but after that she's mine and only mine. Just so you know. :)

If you're planning on attending either or both days, please let me know and I can get you the details. More on this as the end of the month approaches.

Microwaved frozen burritos make a great dinner!

2009-10-03T13:06:00.002+09:00

So, after many weeks of trying to find Dela's company's page on Facebook, I finally figured it out today. The whole 3/34th is on one page (I was searching for Charlie Co. before) and you can find it here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/3rd-Battalion-34th-Infantry-Regiment/110744097339

You can look for pictures of Charlie Company. There are a few that I think might be her, but this is the only one I know for sure:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2554509&id=110744097339

2009-10-03T12:05:00.002+09:00

More notes for my bride's blog:

Sept. 11

I finally decided to go to sick call for my ankle. Because of the compensating I am doing for the sprain, I now have 2 large blisters on my heels. Two of my toes are numb from how my boots fit and one of them is starting to bruise -- that one "crunches" when I walk so I often wonder if it is actually broken. The pain is over the top. It is time.

Yes -- I have a badly sprained ankle and two large blisters on my heel had to be cut out. I requested to go back to training -- no profile -- so they gave me some things to help with my self care. I am praying for a quick healing. Today is Friday and beautiful -- it would be even better if we didn't have to march.

We marched to the range for a day of "grouping". Most companies allow their soldiers to group 4 out of 5 shots in a 4 cm circle on a 300 meter target. Charlie Co. has to do all 5. I grouped my shots on my 3rd and 7th tries. The rest of my shots were 3 or 4 out of 5. Not too bad for my first time firing an M16.

The March back went fine until we hit "drag ass hill". Next time I come up that, someone will need to push!

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Sept. 12

Today is Land Navigation. The morning will be in the classroom and this afternoon in the field. I broke down at lunch -- I had a fever and felt nauseated. But in the end I sucked it up and marched anyway. After marching to the Land Navigation course, we had to find each spot on the map that we had plotted that morning in class. We found all of them fairly quickly. I did end up taking the van back to the bay though -- my ankle had swollen so much it barely fit my boot.

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Sept. 13

Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest. Not so here.

This morning we marched to the Solomon Center for a Christian concert with Bethany Dillon. Gorgeous voice!

After the concert I asked the chaplain to pray over me. She gave me Isaiah 40:28-31 for inspiration and prayed for strength. It felt nice to be prayed over -- it helped ease my spirit and my mind.

The march back to barracks was followed by a march to the PX for whatever the drill sergeants would let us buy. I had to buy Eyepro to replace mine that had been stolen. that sucked! Especially since they were 65 bucks!! "Beautification" began shortly after that.

Phone calls home are the highlight of our Sundays.

LONG, LONG, LONG DAY!

Hopefully my ankle will hold up -- we have a whole week of marching to the range -- actually, I can't wait to fire that weapon but I am intimidated too. I just want to get grouped and zeroed!

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Sept. 14

Today was spent at the simulator firing M16s at 300m targets. It looked like a very sophisticated video game. It was a lot of fun. I did, however, miss the PT Test this morning to go to sick call. The athletic trainer taped my ankle and made an appt. for me to see the PA. The PA thought I was there for my ankle and I thought it was for my chest cold. Anyway, I ended up on profile until the 19th. But I didn't tell anyone and I am marching anyway. I am not going to miss out on firing at the range! It is too much fun firing off rounds I don't have to pay for!

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Sept. 15

Today is simulator again. Sweet!

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Sept. 16

We marched to the range this morning. It was particularly rough because I had a hard time taking deep breaths. Every time I did I ended up coughing.

Since I grouped my shots last Friday, I only had to zero my M16 slick (no battle rattle). My first couple of shots were nice and tight. 4 out of 5 anyway. Then I switched with my buddy -- but it took her too long to group -- so I ended up on another lane to shoot again. I was able to group again and zero slick in 3 tries. I spent the rest of the day help others to group and zero.

The biggest blessing was at the end of day when buses came and picked us up to take us back to the barracks. No marching back! My ankle was definitely relieved to be "off duty".

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Sept. 17

Today was a slow day -- the other 2 platoons had to go to the range. We got to stay in the barracks and do more drills. March, march, march -- drill, drill, drill. Another day of filling time.

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Sept. 18

We marched out to the range again today. Not too bad today -- I think I am finally getting used to marching with equipment. NOT! The last hill is always the worst!

I grouped and zeroed in full battle rattle. It was a lot of fun trying to get down in all that equipment -- NOT! I spent the rest of the day helping others group and zero. Some of them made me want to take the M16 and shoot that target for them! There were some who just could not shoot and hit the target. We turned them over to the drill sergeants to coach. AND we got the buses back to the bay again. Sweet!

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Sept. 19

We have been getting back to the barracks so late this week that we have't received our mail in three days. :( I miss having that pick me up after a very long hard day.

This morning we had PT -- the sunrise truly spectacular. We also ran 30/60s and my ankle seemed to hold out okay. So far so goo. I was also able to do a few good form pushups. :) Now I just need to add 10 more of them!

After chow we started on Modern Army Combatives. Hand-to-hand combat using moves from the Gracie Family. Looks like a combination of martial arts and wrestling. This went on all day -- with us even learning some choke holds. Wish I had learned that for when my kids were teenagers! :)

We got sand everywhere. And I mean everywhere! That is one thing I could do without -- okay that and ants.

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Sept. 20

The drill sergeant gave us a choice this morning, church or phone call. I chose the phone call -- I won't spend my anniversary week without talking to my baby!! [editor's note: that's me]. Then we cleaned the bay floors with comet and brillo pads. It looks so great now and maybe it will help cut down on how sick have all been.

Seems like we might actually get a real day of rest... we will see...

We got a rest day! Thank the Lord!!

Black Betty got a thorough cleaning for the range tomorrow. My locker is also now ready for an inspection by the First Sergeant and the Command Sergeant Major. A really nice day.

Tomorrow we MARCH to LOMAH (Location of Hits & Misses).

White Phase, teary eyes

2009-09-15T13:15:00.002+09:00

I got a call from our soldier Sunday evening. It was the first time she has sounded discouraged on the phone and she even cried a little. She said she felt like quitting for the first time since she's been there.

Her ankle has been giving her a lot of problems. She turned it badly toward the end of the third week. They were running and she hit a clump of grass or something and went down hard. She's been trying hard to deal with it and having moderate success. But now it has swollen so much that she's unable to put on her boot. She finally relented and went to sick call. They gave her some anti-inflammatory meds and cut out some major blisters on her heals. (She had blisters on top of blisters, on top of blisters.) I'm really not sure what her prognosis is. It's hard to talk about very much in 5 minutes.

She has more PT testing this week and is very concerned that her ankle will keep her from passing the running portion.

On a more positive note, she passed her first range test, grouping 5 of 5 shots in a 4 cm circle at 25m.

I may not have another update until next week, as I am out of town and won't have access to any letters from Dela.

Blessings to all!

Dela takes charge...

2009-09-15T12:04:00.002+09:00

...of this blog.

Unhappy after I reported that I haven't been updated her blog much, she decided to write it out for me and have me post it. I've been demoted from Blog Caretaker to Blog transcriber. *sigh*

Here it is:

So, my husband says he doesn't know what to write on my blog. I am surprised since my letters to him have been long and detailed. [Editor's note: Not as long or detailed as she thinks. Lots of repetition.] That's all right [sic], I will catch you up.

Aug. 10th was a d difficult day -- saying goodbye to my very best friend [Editor's note: She means me.] and knowing there were going to be long pauses between talking and hearing from each other. [Editor's note: Talking is her job, hearing is supposed to be my job.]

Aug. 11th I was at MEPS bright and early. My body fat ended up being 37% so I had to do the ARMS test. It basically tests your cardio endurance. I had to step up and down on a 12" box for 5 minutes at the pace of a metronome. Then I had 60 seconds to rest before I had to do pushups [sic]. I only had to do 4 but I did five just in case. :)

I then proceeded to go thru the rest of my processing, even swearing in again. We left for the airport at 1pm and proceeded to sit there for 6 hours waiting for the buses that would take us to Basic Training.

Aug. 12 -- We arrived at Ft. Jackson around midnight. We were marched all over the reception area where they issued linens (for beds we didn't to sleep in for 42 hours...), physical training uniforms, canteens, etc. It was an incredibly LONG DAY!

Aug. 13-18 -- We spent a week marching, standing, sitting, standing, marching, sitting, etc. There was paperwork to be done, information to be processed, and all that stuff that takes forever even when NOT in the Army.

Aug. 19 -- Today is the bus to Basic Training. After having us drink down a quart of water they loaded us on buses. They had us put our heads down on our bags. It was a REALLY long ride -- especially because I had to pee SO BAD! Fortunately for me, several kind souls let me cut in line to the latrine. If they hadn't let me I would have peed myself. [Editor's note: I wouldn't have been this graphic.] It was an auspicious start. One of the Drill Sergeants immediately came up to me, two inches from my face and started yelling -- telling me to "go home grandma -- you should be headed for retirement not this adventure. You'll never make it." I just grinned and said, "I'll make it, Drill Sergeant!" He said, "We will see." And that gave me just that much more motivation to push myself farther than I thought I could go. And then I would push some more.

Aug. 20-Sept. 9 -- Red Phase -- this is the hardest part of Basic Training. Adjusting to a strict military life is not even the hardest. A typical day starts at 4:30 am or so. We do some kind of PT, and military movement drills, agility group runds, and 30/60's. This is followed by stretching (not near enough -- I have to do a lot on my own).

Then we usually have 10=15 minutes to change into our ACU's and form up on the Drill Pad for chow. Breakfast! After breakfast, we have classes and drills and marching practice and standing practice and waiting practice. There there is chow again. And more of the same in the afternoon.

Then chow again.

Then briefings by the Drill Sergeants -- mail call and any other business.

Personal time starts at 19:40 and we have to be back on the drill pad for hydration formation at 20:30.

We do hip flexor exercises and then it is lights out at 21:00.

Drill Sergeants are constantly yelling and the stress is high. Lots of adrenaline rushes though. :)

While some platoons were not allowed a phone call during Red Phase, our platoon was -- fortunately! Overall, I don't think it was that bad mentally. However, I have never done anything this physical, for this long of a time in my life.

Highlights of the Red Phase include:
Victory Tower (see David's letter for details). [Editor's note: Um... I guess I'll post Victory Tower details next week when I'm back home and can find the letter.]
The road march to the field training exercise. All the tactical and then the road march home.
The road march to the Fit to Win obstacle course -- which my platoon won and took the banner for.
The road march to the gas chamber (pretty bad, but not as bad as I had hyped it up to be -- just a nasty snotty nose. :) ) And the march home. The barracks never looked SO GOOD!
I accomplished these things mostly with a rolled ankle. But I am pushing through it.

We are now in White Phase. And we are getting ready to qualify with our weapon, the M16A2 rifle. SWEET!!

I made it through the first 3 weeks!! :)

ROCK FORCE!

News from the Front

2009-09-01T01:46:00.002+09:00

Hi All, just a quick update.

Dela is doing really well. Last Friday they had to march 3 miles with about 60 lbs of gear to the Victory Tower. She made it just fine, and that's one of her graduation requirements. She has to work on her push ups because the way she's been doing them don't count. She's been working after hours with some of the other girls so she can do them right and have them count. She needs to keep working on her PT to meet the requirements: a few more sit ups, a little faster run time, etc. But she has time and is confident she can do it. She's lost a lot of weight and the pants they issued her the first day don't fit anymore. (She said she can put an arm down each side -- inside the waist band -- while wearing them.)

That's all for now. Please keep sending letters and pictures!

Finally an address!

2009-08-26T03:58:00.002+09:00

Hi Everyone,

Dela finished reception last Tuesday and shipped across base Wednesday for the actual basic training. I was able to speak with her for a few minutes on Sunday and got a letter from her yesterday with her mailing address. I'll list that below.

There's not much new to report except she said that she's lost so much weight that the pants they issued her when she first arrived are now too baggy. She has to cinch her belt all the way just to keep them up.

Other than that, she's worried but determined!

I'll post more when I have more!

Blessings to everyone!

PVT HAYESCOWARD, DELA

C COMPANY 3/34 INF RGMT - 2ND PLT

FORT JACKSON, SC 29207

*she also said to "always put the #2 on the back of the envelope" ... I'm not really sure why, but that's what I did. Now you know. :)

David

News (from the one left behind)

2009-08-14T05:55:00.005+09:00

Hi Everyone!

This is Dela's husband, David, writing. I don't have much in the way of news yet, but thought I'd share with you what I do have.

As you know, Dela left Monday night for the hotel. She didn't sleep much and had to get up at 0400 Tuesday for processing. She didn't make tape, so they had her do a step test and pushups. She sailed through those and they passed her. (There were several others who had to do the same thing. Among them were a couple of 18-year-old girls who did not pass.)

She and the other recruits spent all day Monday at the Atlanta airport waiting for the bus to take them to Fort Jackson (hereafter referred to as FJ). For whatever reason, they pet her in charge of all the other FJ recruits. She had to keep their paperwork and keep track of them all.

Around 2000 (8:00pm) they finally got underway. After four hours of driving, they arrived at FJ. Evidently they were kept busy all night and not allowed to sleep. At some point yesterday morning, the recruits were asked, "Who here has four children?" Only Dela raised her hand. "Good. You're in charge!" So again she was put in charge of the recruits, though I'm not exactly sure what that means. She was able to sleep for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon. The last time I spoke with her was just before 2100 hours last night. It was almost lights out and we only had a couple of minutes to talk. She was very tired but her spirits were high!

We've been able to talk a little here and there because they let the recruits keep their cell phones during induction/processing. No doubt that will end very soon, if it hasn't already. I haven't heard from her today.

When I have more news, I'll post it here for everyone to see. And as soon as I have her official mailing address, I'll post that as well.

Thanks to everyone for your constant love and support for Dela. Your encouragement has meant more to her than she can express. You're all truly a blessing!

David

P.S. The new picture above is one that was taken at the reccruiter's office a couple of weeks ago. Her hair is MUCH shorter now...

Like Summer Camp...

2009-08-10T11:41:00.006+09:00

...Only with lots of screaming.

While working at Honda there was a young woman who would come into the office a couple times a week to have lunch with her mom. She always had something Army on. I asked her if she was in the Army - yes, she was. She completed Basic Training and started her job training when they found a tumor in her brain. She has been under treatment ever since with varying degrees of success. She now has ambitious plans - to be married, to have children, to live a full life. I pray she does these things. Mostly she just wants to be back in the Army. I pray she attains her goals.

I asked her about basic training once... she said, "It was great fun, like summer camp, only there was a lot of screaming." I was not sure if she meant that the drill sergeants were screaming, or the recruits were screaming... but for some reason I tend to think it was the latter.

I am sitting here tonight with my stomach in knots and my chest feels like I am toting around a hundred pound weight. The weight is representative of the responsibility I feel in making it through this training. There are so many people praying for me, rooting for me, encouraging me and they have so much confidence in me. I will have to complete so many tasks over the next five months, physically and mentally. I really don't want to let anyone down.

This journey has the potential to set my husband and me on the path to a debt free existence. We would like to get to the point of actually progressing financially - rather than just surviving as we have always done in the past. It is important to us to have something to pass down to our children and grand children.

A summer camp would be nice... on a lake, in the mountains,.. one without any screaming...

Fitness Findings

2009-08-03T04:51:00.005+09:00

I have spent the better part of the last 20 years raising 4 kids, tending house and holding down various jobs. Mostly it was a couch potato existence with a few stints of spelunking (caving) and a few "I've got to lose some of this weight" diet attempts. Nothing. I mean nothing up to this time in my life led me to believe I would be preparing to enter into Army Basic Training at the ripe ol' age of 40.

For the last year and a half I have tried every diet program imaginable. I have had some success, overall I have lost oh, about 35 lbs, the last 10 of which I have repeatedly lost over the past 6 months. It never stays off completely. The problem is I want it off yesterday and I get tired of eating healthy... I love food. Honestly there were times when I thought that all I had to do was look at food and I would gain weight. Truly.

The other half of the problem is that while I am a woman - I build muscle like a man. I think my dad actually cursed me when he wished I was a boy...

I have tried just about every exercise regimen available. All of which helped me to put on more weight, rather than take it off. I have repeatedly told trainer after trainer the problem and I have repeatedly been assured that "their program will help rid those pounds for good!"

HA. I am proof that you can be a super freak in the exercise department and still GAIN weight.

Now I know what you are saying... "you are building muscle (yay!) and so of course you are gaining weight! But you ARE losing inches right?" Well, sorta. My nice addition of muscle, while very exciting and great for the burning of calories... has actually forced my fat to push further out and has INCREASED my measurements in my waist and hips while simultaneously reducing the size of my neck. Nice.

There is a reason this is not good.

For those of you who don't know much about Army Standards, I will give a brief explanation of them. While the Army does have a weight chart they use (which streamlines the process for many recruits) they also allow for BMI or Body Mass Index. In my case, being female, they will measure my neck, waist and hips. This coupled with my height and weight in some crazy algebraic formula is supposed to compute my BMI. As a 40 year old female I am allowed a fat percentage of 36.

My neck measurement needs to be higher to help offset the waist and hip measurements. All my life I have had a small neck. I haven't had a tiny waist since my first child and I have never had small hips. That being said - I now measure out at 37% BMI. A mere 1% over what I need to be to ship out next week.

*insert the sound of extreme frustration here*

My fitness finding is this:

It matters not what size you are. It matters not what type of exercise you do or what diet you follow. Your body will do what it wants. It will find a way to stay at the status quo. Because that is what it is used to. I spent 20 years in more or less the same condition. My body does not want to let go. It does not want to change...

What I need to do is change its perspective. I need to convince it that it wants to be more lean, that it wants to do all those crazy obstacles at Ft Jackson and that it will enjoy it. I must convince it that this is for its own good.

Fitness is a matter of perspective... because my 22 year old daughter and I found out in kickboxing class that we were pretty much in the same shape. And she is at least 50 lbs lighter than I am.

:o)

You Must Do The Thing You Think You Cannot Do

2009-07-20T07:02:00.006+09:00

My Mom recently quoted Eleanor Roosevelt:

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "

Mom reminded me that us Lougee women, five generations back, have weathered many, many, many emotional and physical storms. Whether we married young, had children young, had miscarriages, suffered physical ailments, lost loved ones through divorce and/or through death, whatever the case, we have not only weathered it, we have often been able to rise above it.

We are survivors.

I take this reminder with me now on a daily basis as I prepare for one of the most challenging periods in my life. This challenge comes, not from outside, which would be far easier for me to deal with, but from inside. I will have to reach far down inside of myself to find the strength and fortitude to rise up and accomplish the goals set before me. While I have weathered and even risen above challenges in the past, I am not good at this sort of thing.

I found during drill last year that when I was passed up by the pacer, who was running a 10:30 mile, I reacted, not by pushing harder and running faster but, by allowing myself to become discouraged and by slowing down. Did I applaud the fact that I was at least there, trying? Yes. But I didn't shine the way I wanted to. Now, back then I hadn't even started a regular exercise program yet, had hardly run at all since high school unless it was after a child. But, I went back for more.

While being a survivor has its advantages I want to do more than survive this time. I want to succeed. I want to shine. I want to show myself and everyone else that I can do more.

I need to.

I am scared to death to put my 40 year old body through the paces involved in Army Basic Training. Twenty two weeks I will be training to become a soldier - a defender of freedom and an upholder of the Constitution. I have that long to become more than I have ever thought I could be. I want to become a force to be reckoned with.

I want to Be All I Can Be and I want to be Army Strong. It sounds trite, I know, but I want it anyway. It doesn't seem so trite to me now.

The Simple Life

2009-07-11T10:36:00.005+09:00

So, while working on some jewelry yesterday I had some time to reflect.
This is a great way to relax, work out problems or on occasion bring your anxiety up to an outrageous level. Fortunately for me, this was one of the relaxing times...

I was thinking what a simple joy it was to do something so seemingly trivial, yet so satisfying. Filing away on some art clay silver green-ware pieces allowed my mind to wander. I started to think on the things that have brought me joy over the years and they all seem to have one thing in common. They are simple pleasures, simple gifts and simple times.

Some of the simple pleasures I can recall are;

An ice cream cone from the ice cream truck on a hot summer day.
Spending the day riding bikes with friends.
Building a fort and defending it from "Indians."
Building an igloo fort and defending it from polar bears.

Some of the simple gifts I have received;

The first "bubbles" I felt when pregnant with my children and knowing there was a little person in there.
The first look into the eyes of my children, knowing what a gift their lives were.
Slobbery kisses from a toddler and their arms around my neck.
A homemade present.
The love of a good man and his children.

Some simple times I have spent;

Camping, camping, camping - which I love.
Fishing with my dad.
Lying in a hammock next to the river with my husband.
Stone Mountain Laser Show... only the cost of parking...
Walks at night looking for fireflies.

It was hard for me to not make huge long lists for each of these. And it was interesting to realize that when I thought of satisfying, large impact memories - none of them involved lots of money or elaborate settings...

We only think we want more than a simple life - but really, when all is said and done - it will be the simple things that remain in our hearts and minds.

4th of July Means Something Different Now

2009-07-06T05:24:00.003+09:00

Independence Day...

...Used to be when I thanked others for fighting for my freedom and for wishing I had been smart enough to join the military when I was younger. Well, water under the bridge...

As I watched two young people exchange wedding vows on the 4th of July, I had a moment to think on what future 4th of July celebrations would mean to me. While that young couple would learn about interdependence, I would be learning about fighting for freedom and independence wherever my Army career takes me.

I will sacrifice my own time with family, my own personal freedoms, to go fight for the freedom for both people who care and who could care less. While I know there are plenty more that do appreciate it, I can't help thinking that this willingness to go as far as dying for people, even those less appreciative, is the closest I could ever come to imitating my Savior. He was willing to die for people who would never know him, who would never appreciate his sacrifice. It is the only opportunity I can see for me to walk as closely in His steps as I am able.

Army Values are very similar to what God requires of me as a Christian.

Loyalty - Bear true faith and allegiance to the US Constitution, the Army, and other soldiers. Be loyal to the nation and its heritage.
Biblical Loyalty - Since God is faithful (loyal), it has become our responsibility to imitate Him in being faithful(loyal) by committing our lives to well doing.

Duty - Fulfill your obligations. Accept responsibility for your own actions and those entrusted to your care. Find opportunities to improve oneself for the good of the group.
Biblical Duty - Ecclesiastes 12:13 "Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

Respect - Rely upon the Golden Rule. How we consider others reflects upon each of us, both personally and as an organization.
Biblical Respect - Matthew 5:43-48 "...I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? ...And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others?..."

Selfless Service - Put the welfare of the nation, the Army, and your subordinates before your own. Selfless service leads to organizational teamwork and encompasses discipline, self-control and faith in the system.
Biblical Selfless Service - The quality of 'stewardship' indicates the virtue of 'unconditional giving and selfless service'. It defines the standards within which every Christian is expected to live by. Luke 10:27 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

Honor - Live up to all the Army values.
Biblical Honor - The giving of honor is practiced in our relationships. It is demonstrated through submission and obedience to those who are called to places of authority and responsibility. Honor for God is the basis of all honor. Obedience to God is coupled to the honor we give to God.

Integrity - Do what is right, morally and legally. Be willing to do what is right even when no one is looking. It is our "moral compass" our inner voice.
Biblical integrity - Is not just doing the right thing; it’s a matter of having the right heart and allowing the person you are on the inside to match the person you are on the outside. This is how God is. This is how his people should be. Perhaps a good word to think of is “consistency.” There must be consistency between what is inside and what is outside.

Personal Courage - Our ability to face fear, danger, or adversity, both physical and moral courage.
Biblical Courage - Is the result of surrender and sovereignty. Our surrender to God's sovereignty, and our trust in God's strength, not our own. Joshua 1:9 "...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Having done this exercise now, I am humbled and encouraged to work harder on these values.

God's Blessings to you all - everyone!

Beat it, beat it....

2009-07-01T12:39:00.003+09:00

I am beating my cold with back to back kickboxing classes.

I attended two classes tonight with two different instructors and was able to burn over 1000 calories. I died a little in between classes but was quickly revived when the boxing instructor asked me to try his class. He said it looked like I enjoyed punching, and punching hard. LOL!

So, I will soon be adding on a boxing class to my kickboxing class. Who knows what might be next?

Again, I felt so rejuvenated by the classes! Even though I worked harder than I have ever - except maybe at the National Guard Drill weekends I attended last year - I felt SO AWESOME! This is way better than working out at a regular gym - it never gets boring and each instructor has their own strength. This is good for me - I figure the more classes I attend the more I get of everyone's strengths. Makes me well rounded - not round - but well-rounded.

Tomorrow is going to be busy. I have to get Nate to the airport and then work on some jewelry. Then a kickboxing class at 12noon and then back for more jewelry... then maybe another kickboxing class at 5:30pm... this is becoming quite the habit!

I would LOVE to have some company for class! Come on!!

Postnote:
If you have not tried Greek Yogurt - I highly recommend it. I enjoy the honey flavored. It is kind of a cross between yogurt and cheese. Sweet!

The Fight is ON!

2009-06-27T13:04:00.004+09:00

So the Relay went well - but I caught a pretty nasty cold from being in that gym with all those people. Well worth it, still... Blah!

I went to my kickboxing class today and it was by far the hardest one yet. I am not sure if it was so hard because of the actual routine (which was pretty crazy) or, if it was because I am fighting this cold. It was very hard to catch my breath and keep going. I had to rest many times in order to make it through the whole class. I think I was also severely dehydrated from being sick and that didn't help things.

Funny thing though - I felt so AWESOME when it was done!

One thing I have learned this past week - I can push through pain and I can push this old body harder than I ever thought possible. Basic training won't be a piece of cake but I don't think I will fall apart either. In fact, I read an article today that said running builds up the joints and strengthens the ligaments - it does not tear them down. So, I am encouraged to keep going and as Pam said, get up, dust myself off and plug away.

At least with this cold I don't feel like eating much...

The plan for tomorrow is kickboxing at 11am with a Serbian who punches trees. I thought about attending his 10am and 11am classes back to back... for about 30 seconds.

It's All UpHill From Here...

2009-06-26T01:17:00.005+09:00

It is nice to be back at home. That being said...

I am overwhelmed by the things I must do over the next month in order to leave. Besides the usual everyday work of running a household and taking care of finances, there is the ever present middle age bulge that refuses to stay away.

I have lost the same weight over and over and over for the past year and a half. It refuses to stay away. All the diets I have done successfully in the past to drop 20 pounds don't work anymore on this body. Not only has this body seen just about every diet out there - it refuses to stick with any one diet long enough to change eating habits. I blame my body - because I REALLY want to lose the weight. It's just this body has CRAVINGS! For, you know, food.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am not a picky eater. I love food and will try just about anything at least once. That is how I got addicted to sushi, which is my all time most favorite food, above and beyond even sweets.

While this wonderful quality makes me great at dinner parties, it does absolutely nothing for my waistline.

For the last year and a half I have been exercising regularly. A minimum of three times a week and sometimes as much as six. I even went with a friend to a personal trainer for six weeks, five days a week. I actually ended up gaining a pound. How does that happen?! So, I switched to a cardio based exercise regimen and I ran instead of strength training. I was able to drop another ten pounds, making it a total of 35 pounds lost. This would have been great...

IF it didn't keep on creeping back on! I still need to lose another twenty pounds. Okay, I could get by with 15. But I want it off and I want it to stay off, and I want it off yesterday!

I don't think that is too much to ask.

I Did It. And then some...

2009-06-23T09:17:00.008+09:00

What a glorious Relay for Life it was!

We woke on Friday to sheets and sheets of rain. Now I don't have a problem running in the rain, but adding swimming to the activity would have been quite taxing on my 40 year old body. I knew I would already have a hard time making my 17 mile goal...

I was understandably worried.

In the afternoon my mom, Nate and I made our way to the high school to claim our spot on the track. That this event would still be outside was truly wishful thinking as it was still raining heavily, however, we were undaunted in our optimism and enthusiasm.

When we arrived we were told that the Relay was going to be held indoors - in the rather tiny gym of Hall-Dale High School. As joyous as we were that the show would go on - we were a little depressed over having to run in the tiny gym with 500 other people.

And when I say tiny gym, I mean REALLY TINY gym.

I opted to wait until midnight before joining in the fray to let the number of people in the gym thin out a little. It really wasn't so bad, as long as I could remember what lap I was on, so I could keep track of my miles.

Every 5 laps was a quarter mile - every 20 laps was a mile - every 100 laps was 5 miles and I did 20 miles - 400 laps! I beat my goal by three miles - which I ran at the end. It was 6am and I was totally beat.

My husband, my hero, and my son Nate arrived with Dunkin Donuts coffee at 7am and saved my day! Then I went back to the farmhouse at 10am...

...and died.

Post note:
*My mom did 16 miles - beating her goal of 15 miles. This is the best mother/daughter activity I can think of to be involved in. This is our 2nd year doing this together. It was worth every jarring step we took. The Greater Augusta Relay raised over $100,000 for the American Cancer Society.

Our "Nor'easter's - Blowing Away Cancer" team mates are amazing and I love them all.

I want to keep doing this when I am in the Army.
With my mom and in memory of my Grampy.
Hoping to see you again next year Greater Augusta Relay for Life!

Blessings!

Well It's About Time...

2009-06-20T01:24:00.002+09:00

Sorry about not posting sooner - a quick update:

Tuesday morning David and I left for Maine - planning a stopover in Virginia. It was a nice drive but I felt heavy, thick and fat. Resulting from kickboxing withdrawals I am sure.

We arrived in Maine late Wednesday night and hit the sack.

Thursday was spent in the Portland area as we waited for Nate's flight to arrive in the early evening. Portland Headlight and Ft William were wonderful places to play. They brought back nice memories from my childhood - climbing all over the rocks and the battery. I remember also exploring the Goddard House but it is now secured against all but the most persistent climbers.

I felt better having been out and using my legs a bit. Didn't feel so fatty, fat fat!

Today we are getting ready to run the Relay for Life at Hall-Dale High School. It will be soggy as it is raining buckets here in Maine, but it will be an adventure. I am looking forward to stretching the legs and seeing how far I can run this time.

Last year I ran/walked 13 miles. I am hoping for 17 miles this year... we will see.

Pray that the rain lets up - and my feet hold out!

Doing it Right

2009-06-16T04:13:00.002+09:00

Today in kickboxing class I learned how to round kick the correct way. It makes a very satisfying "Whap" sound. I like it.

I also learned that I need to breathe while I punch and kick - catching my breath in between combinations, when we are supposed to be doing floor work, just opens me up to the trainer saying, "What do you need a special invitation? Let's go, let's go, let's go!" He is like a polite Drill Sargent - well maybe not so polite - he does call me "Retarded Left."

It is very difficult to be left-handed in a kickboxing class because you have to reverse all the combinations - so, after two pretty humiliating classes of trying to keep up I decided to just go right. SO much easier. I was surprised to find that my right arm and leg are much stronger and more coordinated than my left. Go figure.

I am tempted to attend the 5:30pm class tonight - I am that addicted! But good sense tells me that it would be really bad if I overextended and then got hurt. So, I will have to wait a week for my next fix.

In the meantime, I dream of stuffed punching bags and the sweet sound of "Whap!"

Accountability Post

2009-06-14T06:46:00.003+09:00

Kickboxing today with a friend of mine was WONDERFUL! She remarked that it would have been nice to have that class when she was having man problems. Even without man problems I can find plenty of faces to put on that bag!

I feel amazing and motivated.

Army Basic Training will never know what hit them - okay well, maybe that is too ambitious a statement. My barracks of teens and 20 somethings will never know what hit them!

Momma/Granny my a$$!

If someone had said 5 years ago that I would be in the Army now I would have laughed in their face. It is amazing what a little economic desperation and a love of learning will get you!

This 40 year old body will have to step up and perform. I know I can do it.

But will the Army survive it?
:o)

Mis-Perception

2009-06-13T07:28:00.002+09:00

I have survived my second kickboxing class. In fact, I more than survived - I feel euphoric. There is something about beating on that bag that just soothes my soul and energizes my spirit.

Does this mean I am a violent person?

Someone once asked me, "When did you first start feeling so angry?"
I replied: "I can't ever remember not feeling angry."

I may be angry, but I have never seen myself as a violent person - despite the episodes where my children seemed determined to drive me into digging shallow graves in the backyard to inter their ungrateful little butts. Thankfully for them, those episodes were short-lived. For the most part my anger peaks quickly and just as quickly loses steam, not leaving too much time for breakage.

These thoughts led me to another time when someone else asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up - I remember saying I wanted to be a cowboy. A cowboy? You must mean a cowgirl - nope I replied, a cowboy. *

Is this why I love kickboxing so much? It seems to be such a cowboy-like (aka manly) thing to do.

This "mis-perception" of my future occupation continued through elementary school until finally it was made clear to me that I would have to settle for being a cowgirl. Life sucks sometimes. Cowgirls were just so decidedly... uncool.
Boys got to do everything and they were stronger and didn't cry so much and were, you know, awesome.

It irks me sometimes to know that I won't be allowed to participate in any combat positions in the Army. On the one hand I want to prove that I can hold my own and, on the other hand, another (girly) part of me is relieved. Personally, I think I really just want to kick butt!

So, I will be continuing this kickboxing class at Knuckle Up in Alpharetta, GA. The staff is awesome and the workout cannot be beat. (No pun intended.)
Join me there. You won't regret it.

*On a side note, why do we do this to our kids? I understand encouraging and cultivating dreams but what if they truly do not know? Panic sets in and they get this deer in the headlights look! This happens more frequently the closer they get to their high school graduation... come on people! I am still trying to figure it out at 40!

Do I Qualify As a Cult Leader Now?

2009-06-12T05:44:00.004+09:00

Wow - I now have my very own follower. In celebration, I have chosen to answer her question in this post, which is technically the very first one. Thanks Pam for your support!

Pam's question was: "Is "Artemis" one of your nicknames? Where does that come from?"

Answer:
I was looking for a nickname I could use on the Army Forums/Discussion Boards. A friend once told me that if someone asks if you are a god - you say, "Yes!" In an effort to follow this advice and to be original and creative, I thought I would try some of the old Greek/Roman goddesses and see what might be cool.

Artemis is one of the most widely venerated, which I thought fit my friend's requirement quite well, and the oldest, which I thought was also fitting under the circumstances of me joining the Army at 40 years of age.

Her best known cults were also on the Island of Delos. The origin of my name Dela: "From the Island of Delos" seemed to be more than just a coincidence.

And lastly, she is a huntress after all. The best huntress to hear her tell it. I imagine that will come in quite handy as a soldier.

I handily ignored the fact that she requested to remain chaste and unencumbered by marriage - especially in light of the fact that I am quite happily married and decidedly unchaste in that regard... for which my husband is eternally grateful.

I think that answers your question Pam. Thank you again for your support and encouragement!

On a side note and in an effort to be accountable - I have joined a kickboxing class to get in shape for Basic Training. The first class was yesterday - from which I am recovering today. I have another class tomorrow and one on Saturday... then again on Monday before heading to Maine for a week.
While in Maine I will be participating in a Relay for Life at Hall-Dale HS - visit if you can. I will be running, so bring your sneakers!

God Bless!
I have some hunting to do...

Getting Started

2009-06-12T03:16:00.002+09:00

In February of 2008 I walked into a National Guard Recruiting office. "I am overweight and old but I have a degree, can you use me?" I took the ASVAB to find out and scored a 90.
Yes, they wanted me.

In July, my recruiter insisted that I go to MEPS (military entrance processing station) even though I didn't feel ready. The result was predictable; I was still too heavy and my cholesterol was above normal. So, now I needed to lose more weight and get a waiver for the high cholesterol.

In October my weight was acceptable and my cholesterol within normal range but my recruiter was nowhere to be found. I was very frustrated and depressed over the whole process.

After the holidays and at the insistence of my husband David, I contacted another recruiter. She got to work immediately on my profile and worked hard to get me in before the age limit was lowered from 42 to 35. Unfortunately my waiver for the high cholesterol, that I no longer had, did not appear in time. I was out of luck for the National Guard but all was not lost. My recruiter handed me over to an Active Army Recruiter and I was on my way again.

After several MEPS trips, sweating bullets each time on whether I would still make the height/weight requirements, I was FINALLY enlisted as a 27D (Paralegal) and given the ship date of August 11, 2009. This is just two weeks after my son Nate leaves for Marine Boot Camp.
Yes, we will be sharing this journey, my son and me.

In an effort to keep family and friends abreast of the happenings with me and to give out vital contact information (I say vital because that may be all that gets me through basic training!), I started an email group list. Now the list is so long that it forced me to rethink my strategy and come up with something a bit more manageable for my husband.

Thus, this blog.

If you requested to be included on the Basic Training Group email list then you will want to subscribe to this blog. Even if you aren't on the list, I encourage you to subscribe, or at least visit often. I promise that there will be many humorous things to read about my experiences in the US Army. I mean, I am 40 and just now going into Basic Training - that in itself is hysterical.

So, now that you are up to date, I will be posting my physical progress here while I ready myself and my family for my absence.

Please feel free to comment.

Hoo ah!