You Must Do The Thing You Think You Cannot Do

My Mom recently quoted Eleanor Roosevelt:

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "

Mom reminded me that us Lougee women, five generations back, have weathered many, many, many emotional and physical storms. Whether we married young, had children young, had miscarriages, suffered physical ailments, lost loved ones through divorce and/or through death, whatever the case, we have not only weathered it, we have often been able to rise above it.

We are survivors.

I take this reminder with me now on a daily basis as I prepare for one of the most challenging periods in my life. This challenge comes, not from outside, which would be far easier for me to deal with, but from inside. I will have to reach far down inside of myself to find the strength and fortitude to rise up and accomplish the goals set before me. While I have weathered and even risen above challenges in the past, I am not good at this sort of thing.

I found during drill last year that when I was passed up by the pacer, who was running a 10:30 mile, I reacted, not by pushing harder and running faster but, by allowing myself to become discouraged and by slowing down. Did I applaud the fact that I was at least there, trying? Yes. But I didn't shine the way I wanted to. Now, back then I hadn't even started a regular exercise program yet, had hardly run at all since high school unless it was after a child. But, I went back for more.

While being a survivor has its advantages I want to do more than survive this time. I want to succeed. I want to shine. I want to show myself and everyone else that I can do more.

I need to.

I am scared to death to put my 40 year old body through the paces involved in Army Basic Training. Twenty two weeks I will be training to become a soldier - a defender of freedom and an upholder of the Constitution. I have that long to become more than I have ever thought I could be. I want to become a force to be reckoned with.

I want to Be All I Can Be and I want to be Army Strong. It sounds trite, I know, but I want it anyway. It doesn't seem so trite to me now.

The Simple Life

So, while working on some jewelry yesterday I had some time to reflect.
This is a great way to relax, work out problems or on occasion bring your anxiety up to an outrageous level. Fortunately for me, this was one of the relaxing times...

I was thinking what a simple joy it was to do something so seemingly trivial, yet so satisfying. Filing away on some art clay silver green-ware pieces allowed my mind to wander. I started to think on the things that have brought me joy over the years and they all seem to have one thing in common. They are simple pleasures, simple gifts and simple times.

Some of the simple pleasures I can recall are;

An ice cream cone from the ice cream truck on a hot summer day.
Spending the day riding bikes with friends.
Building a fort and defending it from "Indians."
Building an igloo fort and defending it from polar bears.

Some of the simple gifts I have received;

The first "bubbles" I felt when pregnant with my children and knowing there was a little person in there.
The first look into the eyes of my children, knowing what a gift their lives were.
Slobbery kisses from a toddler and their arms around my neck.
A homemade present.
The love of a good man and his children.

Some simple times I have spent;

Camping, camping, camping - which I love.
Fishing with my dad.
Lying in a hammock next to the river with my husband.
Stone Mountain Laser Show... only the cost of parking...
Walks at night looking for fireflies.

It was hard for me to not make huge long lists for each of these. And it was interesting to realize that when I thought of satisfying, large impact memories - none of them involved lots of money or elaborate settings...

We only think we want more than a simple life - but really, when all is said and done - it will be the simple things that remain in our hearts and minds.

4th of July Means Something Different Now

Independence Day...

...Used to be when I thanked others for fighting for my freedom and for wishing I had been smart enough to join the military when I was younger. Well, water under the bridge...

As I watched two young people exchange wedding vows on the 4th of July, I had a moment to think on what future 4th of July celebrations would mean to me. While that young couple would learn about interdependence, I would be learning about fighting for freedom and independence wherever my Army career takes me.

I will sacrifice my own time with family, my own personal freedoms, to go fight for the freedom for both people who care and who could care less. While I know there are plenty more that do appreciate it, I can't help thinking that this willingness to go as far as dying for people, even those less appreciative, is the closest I could ever come to imitating my Savior. He was willing to die for people who would never know him, who would never appreciate his sacrifice. It is the only opportunity I can see for me to walk as closely in His steps as I am able.

Army Values are very similar to what God requires of me as a Christian.

Loyalty - Bear true faith and allegiance to the US Constitution, the Army, and other soldiers. Be loyal to the nation and its heritage.
Biblical Loyalty - Since God is faithful (loyal), it has become our responsibility to imitate Him in being faithful(loyal) by committing our lives to well doing.

Duty - Fulfill your obligations. Accept responsibility for your own actions and those entrusted to your care. Find opportunities to improve oneself for the good of the group.
Biblical Duty - Ecclesiastes 12:13 "Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

Respect - Rely upon the Golden Rule. How we consider others reflects upon each of us, both personally and as an organization.
Biblical Respect - Matthew 5:43-48 "...I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? ...And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others?..."

Selfless Service - Put the welfare of the nation, the Army, and your subordinates before your own. Selfless service leads to organizational teamwork and encompasses discipline, self-control and faith in the system.
Biblical Selfless Service - The quality of 'stewardship' indicates the virtue of 'unconditional giving and selfless service'. It defines the standards within which every Christian is expected to live by. Luke 10:27 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

Honor - Live up to all the Army values.
Biblical Honor - The giving of honor is practiced in our relationships. It is demonstrated through submission and obedience to those who are called to places of authority and responsibility. Honor for God is the basis of all honor. Obedience to God is coupled to the honor we give to God.

Integrity - Do what is right, morally and legally. Be willing to do what is right even when no one is looking. It is our "moral compass" our inner voice.
Biblical integrity - Is not just doing the right thing; it’s a matter of having the right heart and allowing the person you are on the inside to match the person you are on the outside. This is how God is. This is how his people should be. Perhaps a good word to think of is “consistency.” There must be consistency between what is inside and what is outside.

Personal Courage - Our ability to face fear, danger, or adversity, both physical and moral courage.
Biblical Courage - Is the result of surrender and sovereignty. Our surrender to God's sovereignty, and our trust in God's strength, not our own. Joshua 1:9 "...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Having done this exercise now, I am humbled and encouraged to work harder on these values.

God's Blessings to you all - everyone!

Beat it, beat it....

I am beating my cold with back to back kickboxing classes.

I attended two classes tonight with two different instructors and was able to burn over 1000 calories. I died a little in between classes but was quickly revived when the boxing instructor asked me to try his class. He said it looked like I enjoyed punching, and punching hard. LOL!

So, I will soon be adding on a boxing class to my kickboxing class. Who knows what might be next?

Again, I felt so rejuvenated by the classes! Even though I worked harder than I have ever - except maybe at the National Guard Drill weekends I attended last year - I felt SO AWESOME! This is way better than working out at a regular gym - it never gets boring and each instructor has their own strength. This is good for me - I figure the more classes I attend the more I get of everyone's strengths. Makes me well rounded - not round - but well-rounded.

Tomorrow is going to be busy. I have to get Nate to the airport and then work on some jewelry. Then a kickboxing class at 12noon and then back for more jewelry... then maybe another kickboxing class at 5:30pm... this is becoming quite the habit!

I would LOVE to have some company for class! Come on!!

Postnote:
If you have not tried Greek Yogurt - I highly recommend it. I enjoy the honey flavored. It is kind of a cross between yogurt and cheese. Sweet!

The Fight is ON!

So the Relay went well - but I caught a pretty nasty cold from being in that gym with all those people. Well worth it, still... Blah!

I went to my kickboxing class today and it was by far the hardest one yet. I am not sure if it was so hard because of the actual routine (which was pretty crazy) or, if it was because I am fighting this cold. It was very hard to catch my breath and keep going. I had to rest many times in order to make it through the whole class. I think I was also severely dehydrated from being sick and that didn't help things.

Funny thing though - I felt so AWESOME when it was done!

One thing I have learned this past week - I can push through pain and I can push this old body harder than I ever thought possible. Basic training won't be a piece of cake but I don't think I will fall apart either. In fact, I read an article today that said running builds up the joints and strengthens the ligaments - it does not tear them down. So, I am encouraged to keep going and as Pam said, get up, dust myself off and plug away.

At least with this cold I don't feel like eating much...

The plan for tomorrow is kickboxing at 11am with a Serbian who punches trees. I thought about attending his 10am and 11am classes back to back... for about 30 seconds.

It's All UpHill From Here...

It is nice to be back at home. That being said...

I am overwhelmed by the things I must do over the next month in order to leave. Besides the usual everyday work of running a household and taking care of finances, there is the ever present middle age bulge that refuses to stay away.

I have lost the same weight over and over and over for the past year and a half. It refuses to stay away. All the diets I have done successfully in the past to drop 20 pounds don't work anymore on this body. Not only has this body seen just about every diet out there - it refuses to stick with any one diet long enough to change eating habits. I blame my body - because I REALLY want to lose the weight. It's just this body has CRAVINGS! For, you know, food.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am not a picky eater. I love food and will try just about anything at least once. That is how I got addicted to sushi, which is my all time most favorite food, above and beyond even sweets.

While this wonderful quality makes me great at dinner parties, it does absolutely nothing for my waistline.

For the last year and a half I have been exercising regularly. A minimum of three times a week and sometimes as much as six. I even went with a friend to a personal trainer for six weeks, five days a week. I actually ended up gaining a pound. How does that happen?! So, I switched to a cardio based exercise regimen and I ran instead of strength training. I was able to drop another ten pounds, making it a total of 35 pounds lost. This would have been great...

IF it didn't keep on creeping back on! I still need to lose another twenty pounds. Okay, I could get by with 15. But I want it off and I want it to stay off, and I want it off yesterday!

I don't think that is too much to ask.

I Did It. And then some...

What a glorious Relay for Life it was!

We woke on Friday to sheets and sheets of rain. Now I don't have a problem running in the rain, but adding swimming to the activity would have been quite taxing on my 40 year old body. I knew I would already have a hard time making my 17 mile goal...

I was understandably worried.

In the afternoon my mom, Nate and I made our way to the high school to claim our spot on the track. That this event would still be outside was truly wishful thinking as it was still raining heavily, however, we were undaunted in our optimism and enthusiasm.

When we arrived we were told that the Relay was going to be held indoors - in the rather tiny gym of Hall-Dale High School. As joyous as we were that the show would go on - we were a little depressed over having to run in the tiny gym with 500 other people.

And when I say tiny gym, I mean REALLY TINY gym.

I opted to wait until midnight before joining in the fray to let the number of people in the gym thin out a little. It really wasn't so bad, as long as I could remember what lap I was on, so I could keep track of my miles.

Every 5 laps was a quarter mile - every 20 laps was a mile - every 100 laps was 5 miles and I did 20 miles - 400 laps! I beat my goal by three miles - which I ran at the end. It was 6am and I was totally beat.

My husband, my hero, and my son Nate arrived with Dunkin Donuts coffee at 7am and saved my day! Then I went back to the farmhouse at 10am...

...and died.

Post note:
*My mom did 16 miles - beating her goal of 15 miles. This is the best mother/daughter activity I can think of to be involved in. This is our 2nd year doing this together. It was worth every jarring step we took. The Greater Augusta Relay raised over $100,000 for the American Cancer Society.

Our "Nor'easter's - Blowing Away Cancer" team mates are amazing and I love them all.

I want to keep doing this when I am in the Army.
With my mom and in memory of my Grampy.
Hoping to see you again next year Greater Augusta Relay for Life!

Blessings!